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Babsmv · Mar 12, 2012, 08:09 AM

My estranged husband and I have agreed that we did not want to make custody an issue, as he works construction, and is consistently out of town, or working long hours, and standard agreement will not work, and make his time with the kids extremely limited. Neither of us wanted that. I allow him to see them when he is home, as much as he wants. He has moved on, living with another woman, and they have a small child. I've never intervened in his personal life, not once, or negated him the right to take my children on vacation with her (whom I've never met), out of state, and on several occasions.

I've been seeing someone for almost a year now. I talked to him about taking our two minor sons to Texas for Spring Break (we are currently located in NC). I showed him the round trip ticket confirmation, the attractions we are visiting, and the information regarding the cabin we rented for a stay at Beavers Bend, OK. He did not like it, but agreed.

He called last night and told me that he changed his mind. He is not allowing me to take the kids on vacation out of the state, because he doesn't know this man, has never met him, and does not trust someone that he believes I met online. Which is not true, we were friends in high school and college and found each other on our schools alumni Facebook page.

We are not legally divorced. Neither of us have had the money to file, and up until I started dating again (even though he's started a family with someone else), he has progressively attempted to control my personal life.

I know it's time to file the divorce, but right now, my concern is the lost money (over 2K), and the effect this is having on my kids. What rights to I have to take my kids on vacation? I have no intention of staying, I have round trip tickets for all of us, I have a job that I've been at several years.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 12, 2012, 08:57 AM

Not divorced, no custody order, you ( or he) can do what ever you want with the kids at this point, but guess what? Since you had to ask this question custody is not a issue, and will continue to be one. If he was to take the kids on vacation out of state, would you care? When he came to pick them up for a couple of weeks with air line tickets what would your response be to him?

Next even with loose visits, they can still be in writing to fit how he works, and should be. What if next time he has them, he decides not to give them back ?