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    moongazer's Avatar
    moongazer Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 9, 2012, 08:21 PM
    Grandparents splitting
    Hello, I have a sticky/upsetting situation that I don't know how to deal with and hoping someone can help….

    You see I'm 20 year old college student and have been raised by my grandparents my whole life and I am still with them however growing up in my house hold wasn't easy thing to do but was good and at the time growing I thought my grandparent had a loving perfect marriage, until middle school. That's when the fighting and auguring between my grandparents started up and some skeletons came tumbling out of the closet.
    So through my life since then my grandparents have been fighting and such. My grandfather is a talkative alcoholic that won't admit to it and is not a responsible father finger / husband should be anymore; it seems to get works w/ age, as well as to his heath being horrid. He is/and has been the main finical support for the family, even now that has not/can't work he has other aid coming in just enough to keep us afloat.
    My grandmother is a homemaker and she through the years would threaten to leave if things didn't change which is understandable in the giving issue but didn't want to leave my handicap sibling and me (I am also disabled) that and she no longer can work like she was able back in her day. My grandfather promised he would get better and would end up just breaking his promises anyway, lies to the family and doesn't really seem to care anymore. Of cores there is a lot more to the story but that some background to my situation.

    So now once again my grandparents are fighting however thing in the home are different the atmosphere has change unlike the other time they have fought. It's like two strangers living together and they aren't talking with each other. She won't even get in the car w/ him anymore and now asking me to take her places like shopping centers and doctors. My grandmother is planning on leaving when she get the change and this time I think she will leave, for that she has packed some bags or what she says “sorting”. When I ask her about wants going on or what to happen she get agitated at me. She has told me that if she is to leave that my and my sibling are to possibly stay w/ my grandfather because he had that most fanatical support at the moment, that or my sibling and I are to somehow find a place to live ourselves. This is really upsetting for me, I know I'm pretty much an adult and all but I have no idea what to do. This is tarring me apart and I'm scared and upset at what's to happen to just not me but to my sibling. Because yeah we could stay w/ my grandfather and put up w/ his BS but he once said if my grandmother was to even leave him he would stop making the home payments and just let everything go and if that to happen me and my sibling would end up who knows where, not really having anywhere to go unless my grandmother somehow is able to take me and my sibling in if this all plays out badly..

    I have no finical support for myself and yeah I know I'm 20 and probably should be out on my own is what some may say but there are some other kind of things holding me back and I have been trying for work quite some/long time while going to school.

    So if anyone can offer advice and what to do I would really appreciate it. IDK on what to do /and feel and sometimes feel like I'm being ripped apart.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Mar 9, 2012, 08:39 PM
    You did not say where your mother and father are and why you are not with them, and if living with them would be a option.

    But honestly it is not you, it is them and if things are real bad, people divorce. Or at least split up. But you stay out of it, don't take sides and most likely no he would still pay the bills , since he needs a place to stay also

    But sorry you are 20, you get a job and start taking care of yourself is what you do.

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