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Miiya1993 · Mar 6, 2012, 10:57 AM

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 years (it'll be 3 years in a few months) we started dating in my junior year, he in his senior year. We were inseparable for that year and a half. Then, he left my school in the middle of his senior year and moved to japan with his family. I am in the States. He has been in Japan for about a year now. I haven't seen him in a whole year and we only talk every once in a while because of the 13 hour time difference. Seeing each other physically is out of the question... he was trying to come back to the states, but it wasn't working out. And I tried to come visit him, nor did that work. Also, another complication. I have developed stronger feelings with my best friend, I've know him since 7th grade and we have a lot of unresolved feelings... I don't know what to do. I still love my boyfriend, and I hope we could still be friends if this doesn't work out... but thinking about this makes me sick, literally. I haven't eaten in a week, and I cry all the time. I just don't know what to do...

odinn7 · Mar 6, 2012, 11:11 AM

If there is no hope of you two ever getting together, why keep this up? What good is a LDR if there is no hope of ever being together physically? Best thing for both of you is to break up. Just tell him that you can't keep doing this LDR thing and it has become too much for you. It may hurt him but should you be unhappy for the rest of your life?

indya · Mar 6, 2012, 11:43 PM

First of all stop crying and eat something. Staying hungry and crying won't resolve your issues. Try and sort out your feelings for this friend of yours, and think about it with a cool calm mind.

Also your relationship with your boyfriend, I don't see it going anywhere, do you? If you see no future in this relationship there is no point of being in it.

Just relax and think all of it over. Then come to a decision.

yourmothersir · Mar 7, 2012, 03:47 PM

I think you should tell him that you need "a break in your relationship" to think things through. In this time do not talk to him, contact him, except texts or calls. I think having some time separate may help you reevaluate your priorities.
I know you want to still be his friend, but that may not be possible. It actually often is not. You really are going to have to accept it. The longer you grieve over this situation the worst it will be for your health... I think you need to call a gal friend and have a girls day out... talk this out, have a good long cry, get it out of your system. Go to the movies, have a nice dinner... It can be very therapeutic.
If you know you need to break up you should get it over with. The longer you wait the harder it will be on both of you.
I'm really sorry that you are going through this.. just remember, in time things will get better, I promise you that.