[RP1023]

Hello, I need an outside opinion because I feel my friends are just protecting me. Here it goes.

Years ago I dated a girl and came close to marriage. She was the girl of my dreams. Unfortunately I got caught with naked pictures a ex girlfriend sent me. My ex wanted to meet up and I said no. Like an idiot I never erased the pictures and she found them a few months later. We were rocky for a few months until it ended.

Fast forward 4 years. I received a call from her out of the blue. She told me she got married but never stopped thinking about me. She also said she was unhappy in her marriage and wanted to leave him. 2 months we are back together and happy. I got my dream girl back. Unfortunately for me she wanted to be friendly with her ex husband so help the divorce go smoother.

I tried to be the nice guy and tolerate it because I loved her and from what I knew they didn't talk that much. 5 months later no divorce started and still talking to him. One day I asked to call her back and when I did she was on the phone. Yes with him. She ignored my call and called me back 10 minutes later. Then she tried to hide it and beat around the bush. I flipped and a week later I broke up with her.

Its been 3 weeks now and I talked to her today. She admitted she didn't put 100% into our relationship and she wasn't fully ready to give her ex up because that was her best friend.She also said she wants to do things when she wants to doesn't want anyone to rush her. She said she just wanted a littls more time.

Am I right to leave. Was I being played, or am I an idiot for not being more patient?

[talaniman]

You were right to leave, should have never went back, and should never go back.

[Jake2008]

I don't see you as an idiot at all.

What I do see is you getting yourself involved with a woman, who was not seriously in the final process of divorcing her husband; indeed, coming up with excuses to remain in contact that sounded reasonable at the time.

From that point on, she did not budge, and had you not decided to leave, you could have come here to AMHD six months from now, and still be in the same spot. Why? Because she was not going to do what she led you to believe she was going to do.

You never had a chance. To be reasonable, looking now from the outside in, do you think she was ready to jump from a marriage into a serious relationship when she did? Maybe she did not realize herself what her actions meant, or how it would work out. But, I do think there was some planning to keep you hanging on, and to keep her ex also hanging on, until she could figure out what to do.

You've done the right thing, and learned a hard lesson that many before you have gone through as well. It takes time to recover from a relationship or marriage, before being independent and strong enough to begin another.

[Jesssssica]

I think it was a good idea to leave! She left you to get married to someone else. She doesn't sound like she knows what she wants. Maybe her husband cheated on her or something and used you to get back at him, I don't know. I don't fully know the whole story but that's just my opinion. And if yor her boyfriend she should answer the phone for you first. She's still attatched to her husband. So forget her, she's not good.

[mmresd]

Leave, she is off limits to you. As long as she is still married, you need to back off and respect the marriage, whether they are having internal problem. However, she lying to you is a clear indicator that she may be using you for when things go even further down with her husband, I would leave and never look back.

[RP1023]

I want to thank everyone for their answers. It means a lot and puts a lot in prospective. I guess I was lying to myself and didn't want to see through the smoke. I'm also glad that I did what I did before I let myself get into even further. It was a tough lesson but a useful lesson to be learned. I hope others read this and don't make the mistake I did.