[Slothrox]

Two years ago, I met a single girl through friends of friends and we had a great, long conversation, immediately connecting. Nothing more happened, but I could tell there was a lot of potential interest from both of us. Back then, I had a long term girlfriend whom I never would have cheated on, and never did, so I put this meeting out of my mind.

A year later, new girl became a more consistent part of our circle of friends, but she had also gained a random boyfriend along the way. We got to know each other a little better and became good friends, but always with a hint of attraction that neither of us addressed.

Another year passed, I had ended things with my girlfriend due to distance and inconvenience; we just weren't meant to be. New girl is still with her boyfriend, but things have changed massively for her.

Very sadly, her Dad passed away a few moths ago, and at the same time, her mother became sick with the same illness. Understandably, it's an extremely tragic and distressing time for her. I lost my father a few years ago, so I can relate to what she is going through. I am the only one in our friend circle who has experienced the same loss and she has begun to confide in me for support and advice.

Last weekend, she invited me and some friends to meet her and her sister where she was getting pretty drunk. As the night went on, she burst into tears about her Dad, and I held her and comforted her, eventually calming her down. She then went on to voice her affections towards me; affections which she has held since we first met. She also explained that her boyfriend doesn't understand her grief and is not really there for her in the way she needs right now. Although there are other reasons she is not happy with him.

I explained that I had similar feelings, but we shouldn't let drink decide things for us, plus it's not fair on her BF. The next morning she was very apologetic, but wants to spend more time with me (It sounds crazy, but she lives next door to me as well)!

So, we both know that we like each other, and I truly feel that it's genuine due to our history and not just because of the current circumstances, but I have no idea what I should do now. I would love to be with her, but I won't be the bad guy who ruins a relationship. I know it's complicated, but any advice would be great! Thank You!

[indya]

You did the right thing to not let the alcohol in her to decide things. She's already having problems with her boyfriend, so you aren't ruining any relationship, it's already rocky.

During this phase be a good friend to her. Also let her know that if she has problems with her boyfriend she should address them. Ask her to keep her feelings for you on hold, and get her relationship straight. If she is not satisfied with her boyfriend, she should either walk out or fix it.

[loveme.]

If I would be you I would not know what to do sorry.