Check out some similar questions!

shazza_1234 · Feb 23, 2012, 04:25 AM

Hi I'm shaz,
At school I don't know who my true friends are anymore most of them ***** behind my back, and my mum hates her mum and dad and acts like she doesn't have a family and it pisses me off.

My nan is becoming sick and me and her are close so I don't know what to do if she dies :( and one of my so called friends always go you never do anything for me then he is happy again then angry again even though I've done everything I can for him! I just need help I'm sick of trying to make everyone else happy and forgettting about me.

DoulaLC · Feb 23, 2012, 04:51 AM

Hi Shaz,

Do you get to spend much time with your nan? Sometimes when everyone seems to be coming down on you the best thing to do is go to those who make you feel good. You need to take care of you. If spending time with your nan makes you feel good, then that is what you do. If you have hobbies or things you like to do, focus on those.

You won't be able to make everyone else happy and that is OK. It is not your responsibility. They have to take care of that for themselves. If you need to, in a polite way, let people know that you are going to take some time to spend with your nan and do things that make you happy. They can feel about it however they want to, again it is not your responsibility.

If you have a good friend that you can count on, spend time with that person as well. Maybe you might need to make a few new friends.

It's hard when your mum is acting in a way that you don't think it right, but again you can't change how she feels. She may have past experiences with her parents that cause her to feel as she does. All you can do is not get caught up in it as best you can.

Think about what makes you happy and that is what you spend some time doing. Even if you pick three days out of the week, for example, to focus just on your interests. The point is, make the time. You have to take care of you.

indya · Feb 24, 2012, 04:19 AM

Hi shaz! Welcome.

About friends talking about you behind your back, it always happens. Very few true friends resist and hold their tongues while gossiping with others. As long as it isn't to malicious or damaging you shouldn't worry much. Find one or two close friends whom you know will never talk behind your back.

Your is mom having issues with her parents? Does she stop you from contacting them? Tell your mom you are close to your nana and want to see her. And dear, everyone has to die someday, so don't fret too much about your loved ones approaching death, instead enjoy their presence while you can.

If your friend is so dissatisfied with you, ask him to go away. It is good to help others, but that doesn't mean you should completely forget yourself. Take out some time for yourself, pamper yourself. Love yourself.

talaniman · Feb 25, 2012, 10:03 PM

How old are you shazz, and where is your dad? Sometimes we go through tough periods when friends are stupid and selfish, and even parents do things to get on our nerves. Happens to us all. Those are times when when hobbies and other fun distractions can help, until the world comes back to its senses.

shazza_1234 · Mar 1, 2012, 04:37 AM

My mum lets me see my nan but it hurts seeing how she feels like she has no family, also I'm 15 and my dad is in the picture but me and him are cloer then me and my mum. But I'm sick of all this crap for 15 and 16 year olds :/

DoulaLC · Mar 1, 2012, 02:39 PM

Have you been able to talk to your mother about how you feel? Maybe just telling her that it hurts you might get her to not make negative comments, for example. You could tell her that she can feel how she does, maybe she has some good reasons that you don't know about, but that you find it hurtful and discouraging to hear any negative comments, and that her relationship with her parents should not effect your relationship with them.

If you find that some of your "friends" are not behaving how you want them to, maybe they aren't the sort of friends you thought they were or that you need. You could let some of those friendships fade away and move on to spending time with even just one or two people that you feel are really good friends.

shazza_1234 · Mar 4, 2012, 04:23 AM

Yeah true about friends one and I talk to my mum but she always say "i dont wanna talk bout past" but then she brings it up...

DoulaLC · Mar 4, 2012, 07:12 AM

Next time she brings it up, politely suggest that maybe they should get together and sort it out once and for all, otherwise what happened in the past is between her and her parents, and that since it does not involve you, you don't really want to hear about it as you only find it hurtful.

It sounds as though she might really want to talk about it, but it would be better for her to talk to her parents, a friend, a relative, or perhaps to a counselor if need be, instead of you.

It can be very hard to let go of past hurts and anger. Thankfully she hasn't let that cause her to stop you from seeing them. It shows that she has tried not to let her difficult relationship with them carry over to your relationship with them.

shazza_1234 · Mar 7, 2012, 04:14 AM

True, I want her to be happy and I want all the family drama to stop.
But if it takes forever ill keep trying till it does