[sylar66]

Hello All,

I have been dating a special someone for just over 3 years and in the past few months she has been ditching me to hang out with her friends. I know that couples usually do that but the reason that I cannot come is because her BFF hates me for no reason, so because of that, I sit home while she goes out and has fun.

Another problem is that we used to text each other all the time and write how much we love each other but also within the past few months she has been texting her friend first thing in the morning and writes "i love you" , etc. I wake up to an empty phone screen every morning, even when I leave her a love text. Who does she text first you ask, her and not only first but they write each other love crap.

She has always come first, I lost some friends to be with her, I sit at home because she doesn't like it when I go to a bar alone, and what does she do, THE OPPOSITE, she goes to bars with her friends (and their bfs)but because ONE of her friends doesn't like me, I have to sit at home. I find this unfair.

When I try and talk to her about the subject she gets mad at me. Her family and some of her friends say that her BFF is a bad influence but she defends her, but when her friend insults me and etc, my girlfriend doesn't defend me.

We have been 1000% happy and fine for the past 3 and more years, but ever since she and her friend got closer I feel like I am getting pushed away. I feel hurt and betrayed and have no idea what to do.

[talaniman]

Stop being a wimp, and taking her crap. No wonder she walks all over you. I mean who puts up with this? It sure ain't love and if you want better, get off your a$$ and do better. Who cares if she gets mad?

Better pissed off, than pissed on!

[Shanksyx3]

You shouldn't of put her first over your friends for a start friends always come first no matter what because of things happen like this.. She prob just needs a bit of space yis have been with each other for 3 years don't forget girls and boys need their space so when she goes out you go out its only fair and if she won't let you then maybe its time to have a break..

[sylar66]

*Update
My girlfriend is going out all day with her friend who hates me, and not only that, but her boyfriend is also joining, but can I come NOPE. She thinks that it is fair that I stay home by myself while she goes out and drinks with her friends. I find this unfair, why does the BF have to stay home while she goes out with her friends and HER BF. When I ask if I can come she says no because you guys have drama and crap, so nice to know that she is putting her friends before her BF.

She also has ZERO cash for us on the weekend but when she goes out with her friends... MONEY APPEARS, like What the heck is this, I am not working and an paying bills for my car-used to drive her home and etc-, and other bills involving her including paying for her meals. I find this unfair, and s slap to the face.

[talaniman]

If you don't like it, do something about it! I would have dumped her, and disappeared long ago.

[sylar66]

I can't just say goodbye to something that means so much to me for the past 3 years. Only since January she has been like this, ignoring my texts, and my Facebook messages.

We chill on the weekend but while with me she is like "lets go visit my friend" and I am like no, and she gets mad at me. When I am with her I just want to spend time with her alone, I do not go on my phone, or laptop, we just watch movies in the basement or go out for supper; but when she is with me, she goes and texts her friend, and she also wants to leave my house to go visit her at work (which is around the corner from my house)

I ask her to bus to me and she always complains about it, but she was ready to bus to her friends house who lives far away (1.5hr bus ride, but not to my house which is a 15min bus ride). I am going to see her later today and asked what time I should pick her up at, and she was like, oh I was going to bus to visit my friend then walk to your house. This makes me upset, she wants to spend more time with her friend than with me.

I just don't know what to do with her anymore, we are fine until her friend gets involved..

[talaniman]

No you are not, you ignore the obvious my friend, her priority is not you, but what she wants to do, yet you fail to see that time with you is not what she wants.

So let me ask if when with her, how do you spend your time? And also why are you NOT going to visit her in her environment? I see a drastic disconnect in communications and what you do with your time together.

I can't just say goodbye to something that means so much to me for the past 3 years.

Then you better recognize the changes that have taken place, and make some adjustments that bring you together, by choice, not coercion!

Only since January she has been like this, ignoring my texts, and my Facebook messages.

Okay so what happened in January that changed things?

I just don't know what to do with her anymore, we are fine until her friend gets involved..

This is what makes my point, her priorities have changed, so ask yourself why she chooses her friends over you, and isolating you from the life she leads. The fact she has lowered your standing in your life is a good indication that its you who are no longer important as you where and when that happens then it's a simple thing to accept,

Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you an option in theirs.

You better figure out fast what you are trying to hold on to, and if your way of holding on is working! I say it is not, nor will it.

Let me ask finally, is there a reason you are not as fun as her friends are?

I think you blame her friends, for her behavior, so you don't take responsibility for the obvious, she is moving away from you emotionally, and physically.

[sylar66]

She gets mad at me that I read her messages on her phone or on fb; I only do this to see what she says about me.

When we have a fight, she talks to her friend who then insults me, but never defends me when this happens. I understand that we are in a fight but I would still defend her. When I then insult her friend later, she tells me to [B} Shut the **** up[/B]she defends her friend but not her boyfriend.

I comment on her pictures on fb and her friend then INSULTS me and calls me a creep, and how I would survive if I don't comment on her pictures-When in fact her friend is commenting and liking all of her images now.

[talaniman]

Does she fit the image of a loving loyal partner to you? I understand feelings of attachments, I do, and 3 years can build some attachments that are hard to let go of, but you guys can't even talk to each other. What are you holding on to? Hoping she changes?

Not the way this is going. Tell me why you are together. I do not understand. And have you noticed that you complain of her shortcomings but do not offer what you have done about it but sit home alone, and be insulted. I mean what do you have that's making you happy in this relationship?

[sylar66]

How do I remove this question

[talaniman]

Why would you want to? Its against the rules.

[sylar66]

I got my answers and want my posts removed please

[ScottGem]

As noted, we do not remove posts. You can edit a post, but only within a small window of time. However, if there is a reason for editing we will consider it. However, I see nothing that identifies you that would need editing.