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starz337712 · Feb 28, 2012, 09:52 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together about eight months. I think I told him too soon about my past... I've had sex with one other guy before him, I use to get in a bit of trouble with substance abuse and stuff like that.. Before he asked all these questions about my past I was perfect in his eyes. Now for the last five or six months I've had to hear about it at least every other day.. Its making it hard for him to trust me and I haven't done one single unloyal thing to him ever. It couldn't be more frustrating knowing he's always worried about me and on my *** when I'm not with him and just knowing that I wouldn't do a single thing to hurt him is just so frustrating I don't know what to do anymore. It's really getting old and he's starting to notice I'm slipping away, which only makes things worse.

Wondergirl · Feb 28, 2012, 11:06 PM

Now you know why it's not a good idea to tell all about your past, especially so early in your relationship. I've been married almost 45 years and have never told my husband about romances before he was in my life, nor has he told me about his romances before me. All that matters is how we treat each other.

The trust thing is greatly overblown nowadays -- trusting your SO with passwords for the computer or cell phone, allowing your mail to be opened, letting an SO listen in on phone calls. Trust is NOT sharing passwords and NOT opening each other's mail.

You're trying to close the barn door after the horse ran away. It sounds like it's time to leave this terrible situation and learn from your mistakes before the next boyfriend asks you to reveal information that should be kept in your heart.

odinn7 · Feb 28, 2012, 11:14 PM

Your past is your past. It happened before him. You tell him he either needs to deal with it and get over it or you will move on. Bringing it up all the time is not helping things and he should know that.

And Wondergirl is right... don't be so open about your past next time.

Lavender45 · Mar 1, 2012, 10:58 PM

Gah. I know and hate that. I was perfect in my boyfriends eyes we were so happy. I cheated on him/ was taken advantage of while I was drunk at a party out of town. Ever since, they tend to talk down to you, distrust you, and don't seem to care about you as much. Hang in there. If you really like him, let him know and show him that you are not that person anymore, you'll regain his trust and eventually the things that initially attracted him to you will get him back. But let him know how what he does makes you feel. Once he sees what your feeling, he might feel bad about it. OR- it may make him realize that he can't get past those things. In that case, call a spade a spade and move on girlie! But props to you for quitting that stuff, stay strong and optimistic no matter what!