[JAubreyRN]

I am in love with my best friend. I have known her for six years now. It wasn't love at first sight. She is extremely attractive but has a bit of a cold exterior. Over the years as we got to know each other I began to see what kind of person she was on the inside and slowly started to develop feelings for her. I am now hopelessly in love with her. The problem is that she is in an unhappy relationship with her boyfriend of 7 sevens years whom she has a child with. I don't know how or even if I should tell her how I feel. Up till now I have been very skilled at keeping my feelings from her but its getting harder and harder not to tell her exactly how I feel. We spend lots of time together and even have "date nights" on Saturdays where we go out to dinner. I watch her kids for her and even learned to bake her favorite French pastry for her. I'm not sure if she feels the same way but I have a feeling that she does. What do I do? I can barely sleep and I can't look at other women without comparing them to her. Help!

[AnnaFillmore]

This really boils down to two things, in my opinion. How bad her relationship with her partner is, and how much you value your friendship.

If you truly believe she is unhappy in her relationship, then try talking to her about it? Find out why she stays with him and what she sees in the future.

In an ideal world (or at least a romantic movie) you would declare your feelings for her and both live happily ever after. However, there's a chance she may not feel the same and your friendship will be irreparably damaged. Is it worth the risk?

Personally, I would say yes because I'm a risk taker and the idea of regretting something I've not done is the only thing that scares me. But, like I say, it depends on whether she TRULY isn't happy with her partner. Otherwise you're just someone piling in trying to split up a family.

[indya]

First of all, ask her to get out of a bad relationship. Once a friend falls for the other the friendship never remains the same. What you must do is, once she's out of this relationship and fully over her ex, ask her out. Let her know about your feelings over a dinner or some other romantic setting. But make sure that she doesn't feel pressurized to do anything.

In fact the best tactic is to let her take her own time before responding to you.