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    Missy02's Avatar
    Missy02 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 26, 2012, 05:52 AM
    My mum passed away 16 months ago and my dad is now dating her best friend
    How do I accept this women in my fathers life when even on the day of my mums funeral she made a move on my dad
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Feb 26, 2012, 07:25 AM
    Sorry to have to ask but was she involved with your father when your mother was alive?

    Its not the least bit unusual for the widowed person to begin a relationship with a close friend because that person is familiar... and then move on to someone else. Before I was widowed my late husband told me to watch out for his friends and he was right. Strangers didn't "make moves" on me. His friends did.

    In what way are you "expected" to accept her? I don't know that you have to be anything but civil and polite when you are with her.

    The other, sad part is that your mother is gone, and your father should go on with his life, with or without this other woman.

    Are you upset that there's another woman in his life OR that this woman is in his life?
    Missy02's Avatar
    Missy02 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 27, 2012, 04:11 AM
    I want my dad to be happy and not lonely and yes he should move on. So much has happened before and after my mum passed.

    She has always been flirty with my dad but the situation that I can't forget or forgive is on the day of the funeral she had one too many and started sitting on his lap and lifted her top and said here you go you know you've always wanted them.. So so wrong to do that in my mum and dads house on the day we buried mum. The two times I have been with them together she has been inappropriate. I feel there is no respect for my mother.

    My dad is a wonderful man with lots of friends but they are dwindling away as she controls when and where ge goes and even a couple of friends have said she has been inappropriate with them.

    I think that I want someone who is honest and deserves my dad and this is not her. But they are together and I never speak I'll of her I have been polite but he is trying to bring her under my roof in my face and my kids face and we are not ready and not ready for her.

    I have days where I think I should just accept it but I know in my heart it makes me so angry the bad behavior and disrespect and the two facedness of it all.

    I'm very torn
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Feb 27, 2012, 06:24 AM
    Wow - very well said. Yes, it sounds like she was inappropriate.

    I don't know about your father's situation but I think after a loss people often take up with someone unsuitable just because that person is there, familiar, not a stranger. Maybe - fingers crossed - this is the situation here.

    And if your children are NOT ready to meet her, don't allow it.

    I'm so sorry you are dealing with this on top of the loss of your mother.

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