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    rjavery's Avatar
    rjavery Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Feb 16, 2012, 09:14 AM
    My girlfriend is upset
    The other day a friend of mine came up to my girlfriend and I while we were eating. He was joking around and made a racial comment. I was in shock and didn't stick up for her. Now she is upset with me and on the verge of breaking up because she doesn't know if she can count on me for anything. What do I do?
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
    		  
    #2

    Feb 16, 2012, 09:23 AM
    So your girlfriend is a race that the comment was made about and you said nothing? Why? Were you too ashamed to say something? Were you too scared because it was your friend? First thing you need to do is figure out why you didn't have the nerve to say something and then go from there.

    And to be honest... if this is what happened, I can fully understand her point because it doesn't seem like she can count on you. If you couldn't even say something to your friend who insulted her, how could she depend on you for anything?
    SoftSummer's Avatar
    SoftSummer Posts: 45, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
    		  
    #3

    Feb 22, 2012, 11:46 AM
    I have to agree on odinn7 on this one. You should have stood up for her. Because honestly, it would have made me question your inner thoughts and beliefs... sorry if this is harsh, but I totally understand where your girlfriend is coming from on this one. At the very least I hope you contacted your friend and expressed how disrespectful his comments were, especially since they were made in the presence of your girlfriend. Speaking of that, the fact that you didn't refute his comments indicates that you've possibly made similar comments to your friend in the past or that you're okay with people makings those types of comments... the best solution is to like I said, confront your friend in a respectful way (if you were offended by the comments) and then let your girlfriend know that you did it and promise her that you'd be very diligent in the future about having her back.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #4

    Feb 23, 2012, 12:33 AM
    You tell her to calm down. A joke is a joke, and at least where I come from, to get mad over a few exchange of words is ridiculous. If anything, apologize for not realizing that she was actually upset by the comment and that you will talk to your friend about not making any more comments like that. If you make this into a big deal, it will turn bigger, act indifferent about the comment, but caring towards the girlfriend.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #5

    Feb 25, 2012, 04:06 PM
    When she cools off, then tell her you are sorry and didn't realize she was supposed to be defended from what was a joke and agree your friends is an insensitive idiot. You should have been paying closer attention and will do so next time. If she is THAT mad at you about it to break up, then let her go. That may be a blessing in disguise and you know she is unreasonable.

    Now you know what she expects of you, act accordingly.
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