You might think about trying a vibrator for play and stretching.
You might not be as relaxed and comfortable about having sex as you think you are. If you have any concerns about interruptions, pregnancy, the pain, etc. your body may not relax enough for sex because part of your mind is holding back.
Make certain his hands are clean before he tries using fingers. Especially if he smokes, there could be substances on his hands that might be causing a very mild reaction.
Foreplay is not just his hands on your body. Arousal is not as much a physical condition for most females as it is mental. If your mind isn't in it and wanting it, then your body won't either. Arousal begins long before you ever get into the bedroom or anywhere close to taking clothes off.
Do you masturbate? If not, start. If you do, get a toy. Explore your own body and fantasies. Romance books and other forms of erotica can help you find what you like and dislike. See if you can find thoughts and sensations that excite your mind and body. Then share them with your boyfriend.
You can also work with him by sharing fantasies and exploring each others bodies without expecting penetration as the goal. Don't even think about actual penetration. Enjoy the other aspects of being intimate together.
Another thought occurs, what form of birth control are you using? If it is condoms, you might try a different brand and materials. Some women can have a very mild reaction to the latex or the lubricants and spermicides.
Relax and take your time. Sex isn't a race. Take time to enjoy the exploration of mind and body.
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