[HeartbrokenGuy2]

I've known this girl since 2nd grade. We started dating in 8th grade, which I know, is a bit ridiculous. We weren't even really old enough to date. I'm 22 now, and she just dumped me about 5 months ago. We dated from 8th grade, all through high school, all through college. She was my everything, literally. Without a doubt, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And, you don't even know how many times she told me the same thing... she told me how badly she wanted to be with me, how badly she needed me, how deeply in love she was, how we were going to be married one day.

One day, I was skyping with her, and I told her I loved her. She didn't say anything, and just typed ":/" at me, and then said she had to go. Later, she texted me and said that she still loved me, but didn't know if she was still IN love with me. Naturally, this was earth shattering for me. I cried, begged for her to stay, told her I'd change for her (although, in hind sight, I was the perfect boyfriend, I couldn't have improved much), and all that jazz. She wasn't hearing any of it. She said to give it a week apart from each other (all my friends have told me that this was just a "acclimation week", so that when she gave me the real news, it would have already sunk in a bit. I didn't believe them, I KNEW we would get back together.

But, as it happened, we didn't. I couldn't understand, I STILL don't understand. All my friends were there for me, my family was there for me, people I barely even knew were there for me. I had tons of support. But not a day goes by that I'm not depressed. I'm not happy when I wake up in the morning. I'm not happy when I close my eyes to sleep at night.

I've tried other relationships. My heart has been so severely crushed that I can't commit to another woman, no matter how hard I try. I think the worst part was that I never had any closure, she never REALLY told me why she was breaking up with me. For the past 4 months, she's been with another guy, and because she lives just a few blocks away from me, I often see them together. It racks me with pain, I hate seeing her so happy, when it isn't me who is making her happy.

I guess, what I'm asking, is HOW can I possibly get over this? I've been told time will heal all wounds, but it's been five months and this wound isn't getting any better, it's gotten worse if anything...

[indya]

I feel really sorry for you. I can almost feel your pain. Breaking up after such a long steady relationship can be devastating, but now you have only two options, either to move on or to remain depressed forever.

To move on, I would suggest to first of all take a break from dating. Learn to be single, enjoy to be single. Find a hobby, surround yourself with friends. But most important of all, stop thinking about her. Train your mind to stop giving that girl any thought. If you catch yourself thinking about her or your past, distract yourself.

And when you see her with her new boyfriend, say to yourself that she's moved on and is not worth my time and energies to cry over her.


All the best! I am sure your pain will heal...