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shuttterbug · Feb 22, 2012, 11:02 AM

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year, moved and changed my entire life to be with him. I love him and he loves me very much- we get along pretty well mostly, but there's something that irks me. I don't make as much as he does, I have a LOT more bills than he does (car payment, cc debt, student loans, phone bills, house bills etc) (he pays for his car insurance which is cheap and rent and That's IT).. but he pays more in rent than I do.

However! Little things start to bother me like.. For Christmas, I was so broke I didn't get him anything and just a few days ago "made up" for it by purchasing a $50 gift for him. My b-day is two weeks before Xmas and he got me 2 gift cards, BACK THEN he said were for my birthday and now claims they were for my b-day and Christmas (when I brought up that I just bought his xmas present & when were we exchanging gifts). He claims he was broke around Xmas anyway too. That's a lie. He got $2,500 from his family. He bought himself a few expensive things around that time. Now, I'm not trying to be greedy, but it's kind of frustrating that he gets more income than I do, has less bills and I'm always broke AND still buying stuff (groceries, constantly paying bills). It's like I never have any "fun" money either. I know, maybe I should get a better job.. but to me if I were making more and spending less than my boyfriend I would totally take care of him.. or help him out. This is a serious relationship... we want to get married one day, I just want to know how to handle the money issues.

odinn7 · Feb 22, 2012, 11:05 AM

Are you two living together? I can't tell for sure from the way you worded your question.

shuttterbug · Feb 23, 2012, 05:33 PM

Yes we are

odinn7 · Feb 23, 2012, 06:15 PM

Well, at face value, it does sound like he is cheap and perhaps even a little bit selfish.

On one hand, you obviously can't expect him to pay for your car or your bills. On the other hand, you would expect that he should contribute his share for the place you live. He should be splitting household bills with you... this includes rent, phone, electricity, groceries... you get the idea. His bills should be his, yours should be yours, and the things that you share should be split.

You can sit him down and talk to him about this but from my experience, people like this are hard to change. You are probably going to need to decide if he's worth it because if you do get married, it may wind up being much of the same thing, if not worse.

I know a married couple where the wife has 2 jobs because the husband seems to only work sometimes. She is a good wife and a good person but she is being taken advantage of because of this. He hardly works yet he thinks nothing of going out and buying things for himself when she has to work 2 jobs just so they can get by. She has talked to him but it hasn't gotten any better. He was like this before they married and it seems worse now.

Not saying that this is what will happen for you, just giving you an idea of what could happen and you need to think about this if he is unwilling to change his habits now.

Good luck.