[martinj2012]

Here goes..

My partner and I have been together for 4.5 years. We moved in together after 18 months and at first things were great. Then we hit a run of bad luck. I lost my job and money problems started piling up. About 6 months later we split up because my partner said it was all to difficult although she still loved me. We stayed in contact and saw each other quite often during this time. I got a new job and everything else turned around. We got back together and moved in together last year. Before we moved back in I did something really stupid and was convicted of a minor offence and fined. I dealt with it and paid the fine and wanted to draw a line under it. I didn't tell anyone as I was too embarresed and I didn't tell my partner because we'd had such a great run of things being good for us. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, someone my partner works with found a posting on the internet about my offence and told her. This means everyone she works with also knows. She is very angry I didn't tell her, which I understand and see she has every right to be and that I have put her in a vulnerable position. I have told her that I am so truly sorry for what I have done and not telling her. Her friends think she should throw me out and I'm worried she will because we broke up before when things were difficult for us. I have told her I am totally committed to her and our relationship. That I take responsibility for my mistake and making sure it does not happen again. I also told her I am committed to being honest and open with her in all things always. I cannot bear that I have hurt her and would never want to be in this position again. She says that she thought she knew me and doesn't know how to trust me again. She needs time and space to think. Please help I will do anything to make this right. This is such a mess. Any thoughts on how I sort this out?

[SophieM]

Well,my story resembles yours a lot, as me too I can't trust my partner due to lies. Trust is not given by pledge but through actions. Give her time as she needs to clear things in her head. But keep in touch with her and try to fix things differently. It says actions speak better than words, do things to win her back and show her that you realise your mistakes and that you r truly sorry about that. Be sincere to her and believe me its just a lesson that u had to learn and everything will be fine again.

All the best...