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soccermom14 · Feb 18, 2012, 07:16 PM

My daughter is in 6th grade. She is 12. She has a boyfriend and I think they are so cute! They have been dating for 4 months now and she asked me if she can go out to the movies with him with some other couples in 7th grade. Should I let her? I also met the boy he is very nice and responsible... what do you think?

odinn7 · Feb 18, 2012, 07:25 PM

My daughter is almost 12... my answer would be no. As far as I can see, that is too young to actually be "dating" and going anywhere like that unsupervised.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 18, 2012, 08:21 PM

How cute will she be at 5 months pregnant. Sorry you are looking at a cute child, not thinking about them doing grown up things. Just read some of the posts here. We have many 12 year olds having sex, being pregnant all the time on these boards.

reckless · Feb 19, 2012, 03:06 AM

I don't see the harm in that.

ScottGem · Feb 19, 2012, 06:26 AM

I don't see any harm in a 12 year old "group dating", going to the movies with a mixed group.

I do have an issue with allowing a 12 yr old to have an exclusive boyfriend. Sure its "cute", but at 12 she is still a child and you are depriving her of part of her childhood by allowing he to emulate more adult behaviors. Frankly, I think you were irresponsible in allowing this relationship in the first place. But having opened Pandora's Box, you can't close it again.

You say they have been "dating" for four months. What constitutes dating if they don't go to movies or other things?

talaniman · Feb 19, 2012, 02:57 PM

I am glad you are so involved in your child's life and development and see no harm in them group dating to a movie or activity. Be better if all the parents involved were on the same page and in touch so the whole village could be involved in guiding the young ones to responsible behavior. Lay out the rules of good behavior that you expect them all to follow.

I approve, but stay on it. Young people in groups can be influenced by the pack leaders, or peer pressure the minute the adult turns there back, or gets distracted. Know this and don't assume cute kids will not conspire against your wishes. Trust, but verify, even if you have to be sneaky about it.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 19, 2012, 03:20 PM

I did not hear or see any word of any adult that is going to be there to supervise

tickle · Feb 19, 2012, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by reckless

I don't see the harm in that.

Oh really. Do you have any children ? How old are you reckless for this uncompromising answer?

This child is 12. Should not be allowed to go to the movies chaperoned only by a qualified family member.

I don't think you should be qualified on this forum to give advise like his.

jenniepepsi · Feb 19, 2012, 03:20 PM

I don't see anything wrong with them going to the movies.

My own daughter, even at 12, I would go with her and her boyfriend. But my daughter is delayed and probably won't be '12' when she is 12. (if that makes sense)

I see nothing wrong with a group movie.

Be aware of the risks of the fact that your daughter has a boyfriend.

But I also want to state, that you don't want to wrap your child in a bubble, never to experience anything. 12 is a fine age to start dating and seeing boys through older eyes.

Just stay aware of what is going on and don't be ignorant of what could happen. No sleepovers, no closed doors for private time, no alone dates, etc.

ScottGem · Feb 19, 2012, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

12 is a fine age to start dating and seeing boys thru older eyes.

Sorry Jennie but I disagree. A 12 yr old is still a child. This world is placing too much of adult behaviors on children before they are ready.

Parents think it is cute. At least until the child becomes pregnant. There was a survey done by kids of middle school children on LI a couple of weeks back. They agreed that 14-16 was a good age to start dating one on one.

talaniman · Feb 20, 2012, 08:21 AM

I have to note that this is a group of young people going to a movie. Maybe a smaller group than a school field trip, and for fun not education, and with proper supervision by the parents, can be a great experience. Now one on one, with no supervision, that's a different ball game all together, and 12 may be to soon for that kind of interaction.

Hope the OP comes back with a few more details.

Homegirl 50 · Feb 20, 2012, 12:48 PM

Going to the movies with other couples would be OK as long as I'm sitting in the theater with them where I can see what is going on.
What is 12 year old dating mean anyway? I think that is too young .

DoulaLC · Feb 20, 2012, 02:46 PM

For the OP... obviously, as you have seen here, there will be varying opinions. It comes down to what you are comfortable with. I am guessing that you might not be overly comfortable with it since you asked for the opinions of others.

If you just don't quite feel that it is OK yet, then tell her not yet or go with them.

Someone has to drive them anyway. You could do that and then either see the same movie or see a different one on your own, with a friend, or your husband. Then you could take them out for dessert afterwards or something.