[lovez-it]

I am a teenage girl and my boyfriend is 17 and we have been going out for about 6 months and are both very much in love for the first time he is the first guy I have ever loved and I am the only girl he has ever loved this much.
We recently about a month ago had a fall out because of problems he was having and didn't want to put me through the pain of having me to try and help him and he told me he couldn't be with me any more. It crushed me so much I was a wreck. And that next day after the break up it was my cousins party for her birthday as of corse I went and that night I got extremely intoxicated and another guy that my friends and cousins new was there and he kept trying to get with me all night and I pulled him away from everyone and just explained to him the situation I was in were I had recently just broken up with my boyfriend and didn't want anything to do with him that night in that sort of way. And that guy said he understood what I was going through and was fine with it.
And all night I was telling my cousins and my close friends to keep me away form him as I didn't want to be with him at all.
When it was time to leave I was with my cousin her boyfriend and that one guy and my cousin was intoxicated and left me to be with that guy and also left me to sleep next time him while my cousin and her boyfriend were together and at that time I was pretty much past out and so intoxicated that, that guy had forced himself on me when I had said and said no to him so many times but he didn't listen. I had been taken advantage of. It was the scariest things I have ever experienced. That next morning I barely remembered anything and I still don't remember much at all. A couple of days later my ex-boyfriend rings me and abuses me asking me why I could have sex with someone else and I explained everything to him and told him I hadn't had the chance to talk to any one about it. He just kept yelling at me and there was nothing I could do. A few hours later I get a call from him again saying he wants to be with me and he can't be without me and he will help me through it all and I could help him through his problems so everything was OK from there. It has been about a month since then and about 1 week ago he said to me I have found out more about that weekend and he won't tell me what he heard or who from. And I said to him there's nothing you don't no I explained everything and no one knew about any of it except from what that guy had said to people wich was that he had sex with me that's it. And now my boyfriend is saying he doesn't no if he can be with me because of that one weekend that all that happened. It haunts him and he can't take it and when he looks or touches me he thinks of that guy and it is destroying him. And worse its tearing me apart to know that he thinks that and he doesn't believe me of what happened.
He says he loves me and always will but it won't be the same and we won't be as close as we were before all that happened and he also doesn't no if he can keep going like this knowing what happened and not believing me. It haunts him and our relationship and we now feel weird around each other.
What do I do to help it become normal again??
Or at least make things better and stop us from breaking up once more?
HELP please

[SixTails]

Okay, first things first. I know your relationship is the biggest thing on your mind at the moment, but you've been through a traumatic experience and need to take care of yourself. I know you said that you don't remember much of that evening, but can you remember whether the person who forced himself on you used a condom? If you don't know, or can't be sure, then you need to make arrangements to be tested for STD's. If you are not on birth control you should get tested for pregnancy as well.

Have you talked to anyone close to you (besides your boyfriend) about what happened? I would advise talking to a trusted friend or family member. What you went through was awful and you shouldn't have to be dealing with this alone. Check your phone book for a women's health clinic in your area; they will be able to help you find someone to talk to if you don't have anyone close you want to confide in.

You are probably not going to want to hear this, but if your boyfriend doesn't believe that you're telling him the truth, then he doesn't trust you, and without trust a relationship is meaningless. If he doesn't believe you when you tell the truth now, do you think he will ever believe anything you tell him after this? Do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to make it up to him for something that wasn't your fault in the first place? If it is your word against the person who took advantage of you, and he doesn't believe you, and instead believes the other person, then what does that say about what he thinks about you?
If you insist on staying with this person, I would suggest that he also find someone that he trusts to talk about the situation with until he can either put it behind him or decide that he has to move on.

I hope this is helpful.