[Celesto]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 1 year and a half now and he broke up with me 5 days ago for his ex girlfriend. He says that he is deeply in love with her because she was his first love and that he feels deeply bonded to her. He says he loves me but he is not in love with me the way he is with her.

The worst part is they can not even be in a real relationship because she has a boyfriend with a baby from this boyfriend. She is constantly telling my ex how much she loves him and wants to be with him yet this has apparently been going on for three years and she is still with her boyfriend.

He calls me every day, still texts me a wake up every morning but says he would like us to be friends. We are even going to dinner on the weekend. I truly don't know if I am making the right decisions right now. Throughout our relationship he has been a great boyfriend and I love him with all my heart. He told me all the time that he knows in his heart that I am the best thing for him.

My best friend, who is a guy, is telling me to not give up on him so easily but why should I fight for someone who does not want to be with me?

What should I do? Where should I go from here? Please help me.

[Swiss_Ms.B]

Hi Celesto,
Obviously your now ex-boyfriend did not make a clear cut break-up if he still texts you and still wants to go out to dinner with you. Seems to be the same pattern he has with his past ex-girlfriend. They obviously never had a clear cut break either! And now they are both jeopardizing the posibility of her child having a wholesome happy family.
I don't quite understand that your best friend thinks your ex is worth fighting for from what you just wrote about your ex.
If you are still meeting him for dinner on the weekend I think you should show strength and make that clear cut before your order and then leave. Only this way you will be able to grieve the loss of the good things you had, so you can move on. Don't put yourself in the position of being second best/ on the reserve bench/ the seat warmer etc.

[Handyman2007]

Sounds like he wants his cake and wants to eat it too. You can be friends... what YOU have to do it set the boundaries of the friendship/ No Dating(going out to dinner, movies,etc). That is too personal and it puts both of you in a close situation. Being friends does not mean spending a lot of time together. If he has a girlfriend, I am sure she wouldn't want him spending time with someone else. If he tells you that "She doesn't care"... he is probably lying and you don't need him as a friend. If he broke up with you to go back to an old girlfriend, then he wasn't being honest. Say Hello or talk but THAT's IT!

[talaniman]

Do he still gets the benefits of being in a relationship with you but none of the responsibilties. Man that's a major accomplishment for him, and a bummer for you.

Put some space between you as 5 days is obviously not enough to clear your head and see what he is doing. You need time to see if he demoted you to friend zone, or friends with benefits zone. Either way he gets free cake and cookies doesn't he?

That's not friends, nor will it benefit you.

[diyangel]

You can be friends with your ex only after NC of about a month or so... being friends rightaway is Very Painful..!

[mmresd]

No, treat your ex like the ex that he is and move on. No need to stay stuck in the past, move forward.