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Jadedstar · Feb 13, 2012, 03:58 PM

My boyfriend tells me he does want to get married some day but he still hasn't given me a ring :( , everyone else around me seems to be either getting married or getting engaged. The thing that made me mad recently was a good friend of our got engaged on our anniversary I would be so bitter if I was engaged I would have been saying congrats and happy for my friend but I don't I feel really insecure, humiliated, depressed, confused, and resentful. I love my boyfriend will all my heart I'm just tired of waiting, I gave him an ultimatum

Fr_Chuck · Feb 13, 2012, 04:14 PM

If you are living together, why should he, he has everything he wants. A cook, a sex partner, someone to do things for him. Instead, you ask him and set a date. Or make it separate bedrooms or even homes till he either asks or you move on.

Alty · Feb 13, 2012, 04:22 PM

How old are the two of you? Has he given you a reason why he hasn't asked? Is it because of money, or is it something more?

If you want to be married then you have to start talking to him. Communication is key in any relationship, but especially in a marriage.

If you can't talk to him now, without giving an ultimatum, then you won't be able to have a healthy marriage, and maybe he senses that.

Talk to him. Only he knows why he's hesitating.

mmresd · Feb 13, 2012, 07:57 PM

What is it that you are looking for with such a passion? The change in Facebook status, or the piece of paper that would mean that if anything went sour and both of you needed to break up you would have to go through a whole legal process??

He is with you, things apart from this issue seem to be fine, I didn't see you complain about the sex life, money, love, or anything else. Is it really that necessary to try to end a relationship because your relationship is not EXACTLY going through what your friends' relationships are going through?

I would recommend to work on your relationship, not to threaten your boyfriend because you don't have a diamond sitting on your ring finger.

beeka · Apr 17, 2012, 08:51 PM

I too battle the same question! My boyfriend says he will marry me... But I ask when!? We have been together for 6 years and lived together for nearly 2 yrs. I have told him I am beginning to resent him over this and his response was "we can't have you resenting me" he tells me he loves me and is great in every other aspect. If I toy around with the idea of breaking up and how will we decide Who gets our dog etc he says that doesn't need to be discussed because we aren't breaking up. These men can be so confusing! And yes the question I can't answer is do I stay or do I go? If you want to be with someone enough to marry them.. Then you can't really just walk away! Or can you? Because I deserve to get married and have a family not sit around waiting like a door mat. Why should he ask me if I am not going anywhere? Emotional torture!

talaniman · Apr 17, 2012, 09:00 PM

Why buy the cow if the milk is free and has been for 9 years? The ultimatum is 8 years late. Let us know what he decides, since you cannot decide for him. You could but lack conviction.

alliebee · May 31, 2012, 04:12 PM

I understand how you feel. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 1/2 years (he always reminds me of anniversaries) and he hasn't proposed. We are 25 and do not live together because I was still in school up till two years ago. I told him that I'm going away for post grad work and it's up to him if he wants to come. I don't know if he will, since his mother controls his finances (they are well off business owners but he gives his cheques to them to deposit in a joint account and his parents give him a portion of it to buy stuff) and he has to pay me back right now for a 3k trip that she told him he couldn't go on. We have more issues than not getting married, I know.
I do want to know though, what happened when you gave him the ultimatum?

farmgirl13 · May 31, 2012, 04:17 PM

Maybe he is afraid of change. Maybe he is confused right now. Just ask him something like hey what is our future together going to be like?

stephg1945 · Aug 10, 2012, 08:28 AM

I completely agree! My boyfriend and I have been together 7 years. He has recently attained a job in a town that we grew up in. I had a horrible experience growing up there but he doesn't seem to care and wants to drag me back there. I said I wouldn't go without a ring, yet he has called my bluff and it is the day before. I am stuck because I am a loser. I should have left when I had the chance. Now I am stuck.