[troubled21yrold]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about six months now, and we really care for each other a lot. He had broken up with his best friend of two years (they were together for about two weeks) some two months before we started seeing each other, and the problem is that she hasn't been able to let go of him at all. She lives in another state, and constantly calls/texts him crying and begging him to go back to her. He has always been perfectly honest with me about this and doesn't want to talk to her anymore, and he has also tried ignoring her. But the trouble is that she keeps threatening suicide if he doesn't pick up her calls (she has been known to call up to 50 times in a single night, and has also called his home). She also texts me regularly asking me to make him talk to her. So far, I have encouraged my boyfriend to talk to her because we really don't want her to hurt herself. But I feel it's getting out of hand, because she keeps blaming my boyfriend for their break-up (he initiated it because she had grown too clingy and needy), claiming that he left her for me (which I know isn't true), and then when he tries to talk her out of it, she alternately tells him that he is a jerk because he ruined her life and that she will kill herself because she can't be loved by him. She has even asked really uncomfortable questions about our intimate details, things which are none of her business, and has several times tried to disrupt our dates. Other times she called him up with a bottle of pills in her hands (so she says), asking him what would happen if she ate them all. Now I can see that this really hurts him because they had been best friends, and whenever she calls he feels like a terrible person. I'm convinced she's just doing it for the attention, but we are apprehensive just in case she really attempts suicide. Her parents are aware of this, but they don't know to what extent she has gone. What I want to know is, will it help if he breaks off all contact with her? Or is there some other way to deal with this? Restraining orders and/or suicide hotlines are not an option for us, because we do not want to get her involved in any legal issues as that would ruin her scholarship chances for university. Can anyone help with this? Thanks in advance.

[lyssrey]

Well this sounds like my ex boyfriend , ex girlfriend and she has been trying to kill her self to. Ok I think you just need her to calm her down and try and talk to her with you , your boyfriend and her to sort out her problem but don't go too hard on her she might go angry like sam my ex boyfriend , ex girlfriend does. And I hope you all be friends again and if she does anymore stupid things just well you ingnore her and let your boyfriend sort her out but I hope he doest does anything stupid to. Hope am not confusing you!

[Fr_Chuck]

No, you tell your boyfriend to stop talking to her, change your phone numbers, never answer her, don't even listen to her voice mails, don't read her texts.

If she was going to kill herself she would be dead. She is using that to get what she wants like a small child pouting. If you just must ( and I wouldn't even do that) if she threatens to kill herself, call the police in her area and report it so they can check on her.
This is a common and normal threat to try and control someone.

[lyssrey]

Mmmm you may be right there but what if she's being serious

[AnnaFillmore]

Get a harassment order, or whatever the US equivalent is, against her. It is her family and friend's responsibility to help her through this, not yours.