[katechapman]

When I got a phone and went to high school my dad would look up all my phone messages and msn messages and if I had done anything bad which most high school girls would he would take my phone off me, and not give it back for months, and then as I got older the hate between us got stronger, in grade ten he thought I went on his lap top and I got angry and said I didn't go on your stupid lap top! If I had sware at him he would have really hurt me worse, but he grabbed me and strangled me against the wall and shook me and I was crying as said "stop it it hurts I can't breath" he said good. And then later he came up hugged me and said he was sorry but I felt that night I had no love for him anymore , and I have never got it back. He also hit me with my straightener when I made a mark in the bench and he screams at me a lot if I have a opinion about anything. I'm 18 now and he still looks up my messages and tells me and we still hate each other. Mum doesn't believe me or do anything about it. He hurt my sister too but not brother, please help? He wants to teach me to drive but I won't let him

[ms.nobslandlord]

It sounds like it's not you he has a problem with, it's himself. He has some trust issues, anger management problems, probably all stemmed from insecurity. Your mom may be afraid of him or has low self esteem and can't handle it. You are a strong person, though you may not think so and you can remove yourself from the abuse. I am sure your father does love you but with his own issues he can't control himself so you need to get away from him. If you are still in school, then start planning when you graduate and can move out. The way your father treats you is wrong and he probably really does feel bad but then he should because his behavior is inexcusable and unforgivable.