What to do about him?

defjam34 · Jan 15, 2012, 02:38 PM

I have been dating my boyfriend for several months now and I have always loved him. But he is obsessed with basketball. Don't get me wrong, I like basketball too. We are both the only freshmen on the varsity teams. But he goes to every practice even if they are optional. It really ticks me off when he breaks a date because he has an optional practice. It doesn't seem fair because when we want to do something, I do whatever I can to rearrange my schedule and make it happen. He is also on his IPOD playing scrabble on all his free time, even when I am with him. He didn't used to do this but he is just obsessed with it. He also has been ignoring my texts just because his grandfather he sees three times a year is up. My grandparents are dead! He won't even eat with me at lunch anymore because he has band. I could go on. I don't know what is going on with him, he was never like this. I don't want to break up with him, I love him so much and I don't know why I would after all this. Please help

talaniman · Jan 15, 2012, 07:50 PM

While he may be obsessed with other parts of his life that are important to him, you are obsessed with him. That's the conflict. He is probably just a normal 15 year old, and has many interests, so talking to him about what could change may be the way to go. Such as playing games when with you are with him, as its reasonable to expect full attention, but its not fair to think you will monopolize all his time and he give up the activities that he enjoys.

You talk and make an agreement as to how you will manage your time and express what you want. That's how you deal with conflicts, by talking. If the conflicts are not resolved by talking honestly, then its for you to judge what, and why you hold on to this relationship, and what to do about it.

What's obvious though, is you both have different expectations about what this relationship is all about, which is normal with teens, you don't communicate well, also normal, and the bright eyed shine of new attraction is wearing off, plus you seem to need to be with him, more than he needs to be with you, and maybe you are depending on this relationship to make you happy, more than he is.

But if you expect to be a good couple, learn to talk to each other.

barpep · Jan 15, 2012, 09:25 PM

You sound like your in a horrible situation, but lukily I'm a great flirter, since he doesn't want to spend time with you, all you have to do is make him want to spend time with you, by either breaking dates with him are make him jelious with other an other guy, butif you don't want to do that then just tell him how you feel about how he's always breaking your dates for other things

ilove_eminem · Feb 4, 2012, 11:35 PM

It could be perceived in 2 ways
1. He is disinterested in you and he wants to break up but is hesitating
To tell u so.

2. That's just the way he is and he is not realizing that he is hurting you and is quite immature. He is very career and self oriented.

Best thing is to et things clear and sorted with him! Speak to him about it. What do both of u want?Why is he doing this?
GET IT CLARIFIED is the only solution to it!:)
Take care xoxo