[bluebubblez]

I'm 17 and my girlfriend is 16 we go to different schools but hers in co-ed and mines all boys. We've been going out for 5 months and for the past two of them she's always been texting other guys. I was worried but I trusted her completely its just when I told her I didn't feel comfortable when she texts other guys (Because she has a flirty way of talking to them) she says to not worry I'm just kidding I wasn't flirting.

But now her ex is texting her everyday. I don't know what to think. She says she hates him and she never texts first but they both still talk. I love her and she loves me. I do everything for her everything she asks, I feel disrespected when she doesn't talk to me and is on the phone to some other guy while I wash her dishes. I think if she truly loved me I would get more respect.

I ask her if I did the same thing to her how would you feel she goes "I would dump you " ****ing hell well show more thought when you do it to me, by the way I stopped text and talking to my other friends who are girls cause she didn't like it. It does worry me cause I know she has dated A LOT of other guys before. I'm like the 9th and she does still text her ex that went out for a year with. Also she has a history with cheating on her bfs even though I know she has changed from being like that. So should I continue to be with her? She hasn't cheated on me I don't think she will. I love her so much she's a amazing girl please help me.

[Cat1864]

One of the difficult lessons to learn is that you can't control another person's actions and behavior. You can control your own and you can explain how you feel. After that you have to decide if you can handle how the other person conducts his/her life (this applies to friends as well as girlfriends.) If you can't adapt then walk away before negative emotions and thoughts become more common than positive ones.

You shouldn't have to give up friends to make another person happy. You shouldn't do anything that you don't want to do to keep someone. If you see a need and really want to make a change in your life, then do so for yourself, not the other person.

However, boundaries should be set by both of you as a couple. What is good for one is appropriate for the other. In other words, if she can text male friends, you can text female friends. Unless otherwise agreed on (like one person is playing a game or has something else taking up a lot of attention), pay more attention to the person who is in the same room than the person on the other end of a phone/computer.

There may be times when a friend needs a shoulder so there should be some give. Understanding, empathy and compassion can be great traits in a relationship. But no one should take advantage of those traits to take and not give back.

If she is getting you to do her chores on a regular basis, then you may want to think about whether you are a boyfriend or a maid. Her hands should be just as busy as yours are and not with texting.

It is up to you to decide if the relationship is worth the energy you are putting into it. Are you getting enough back to keep you from being emotionally and mentally drained?

By the way, please use full words (such as 'and' instead of 'n'.) Text/chat speak isn't allowed because it makes posts harder to read. Thank you.

[talaniman]

Are you crazy, dump her, just because you do her dishes and she lets you! To add, she would dump you for doing what she does?? REALLY?? Really?? Really?

Do you know how many amazing girls are out there? Dump her, because you care, she doesn't! That one way stuff never works for me. Need more proof? How about this,

I know she has dated A LOT of other guys before. I'm like the 9th and she does still text her ex that went out for a year with. Also she has a history with cheating on her bfs even though I know she has changed from being like that.

You aren't there so you don't know. Plus I think you would do better with a nice female to have fun with, that you can trust, and have some dignity, and self respect. Can't get over you do HER chores for her. Get rid of a female that has you stuck, and is not stuck on YOU!! Bet she won't even notice.

[mmresd]

You need to move away from this one. It doesn't sound like she appreciates or respect you. Is time to let her learn a lesson, dump her and find a girl that is at least glad you are texting her, no one that puts you aside to text ex boyfriends when you are being nice.

[DoulaLC]

I agree with the idea of moving on. She shows that she doesn't respect you or the relationship when she continues doing something that she knows hurts you. Something that she wouldn't want you to be doing no less.

She may be a nice girl, but between this behavior, and the history of cheating, shows that she just isn't ready to be in an exclusive relationship.