[k_sly23]

Hi all!
I don't know how to start all this, OK here it goes, so there is this girl, who I know her for about 6 months already, we have had a good time together, hanging out after school, and helping each other, and because of this, I have fallen in love with her, I haven't told her yet, but I know she knows it, and I also know she feels something for me, not as strong as my feeling, but I know she likes me a bit.

Ok she has always text me and call me, always texting if I got home, if I woke up, or anything, like she cared about me, but these couple past weeks she has changed and things don't seem the same no more, like she doesn't text me for 4 days, until we see each other at school, also we don't hang out as we used to, now I really feel destroyed because I thought she was interested on me, but seems like she's not no more, and I know there's something's going on, but I don't know what it is, when we text ( now I'm who text her first) she just answers, that's all, when before she used to text me, for crazy things like, any funny thing that happened to her, I don't know what's happening, I think she's trying to forget me, because of her others ex bfs, I think they are bothering her, to not be with me, but I don't know what's going.

I really need help, I feel bad sad I don't eat I cry like a sissy (so what) and I can't focus on anything but her, I'm all the time thinking about her and this problem. I need to get help on how should I approach this and how do I get her back and interested again, because I'm going to ask her out on her b-day, which is in 3 weeks, so until that I want things to be like before and get her to like me like she used to, so when is time to ask her out, there's more chances for me that she accepts to be my girlfriend.

I hope you girls, or boys can give some advice, because I don't know what should I do until the time to ask her out comes, should I keep texting her, ask her to hangout, call her all the time, I need to get her attention again, thanks a lot
JJ

[talaniman]

You should have been asking her out months ago, then you would have known how she feels and not screw with your own head over this. Since you are already crying like a sissy, at least have something real to cry about, so call her, and tell her you would like to hang out and date, and go from there.

I mean how long do you think she will wait for YOU to show some interest and courage? For sure she isn't going to chase you after you wasted all your other opportunities.

[Fr_Chuck]

So when you talk to her in person, and ask her about this, what does she say?

How were you all hanging out? And why or how has it changed .

But this is part of dating and girlfriends and boyfriends. After a few months often we decide it is not what we want and either side moves on. Breaking up and learning to handle it properly is part of life and growing up.

[talaniman]

Please refrain from copy, and pasting new questions about the same thing, be patient, and offer feedback to advice given.

[k_sly23]

I know I should have asked her out before, now I think it's too late, she seems cold and her interest level went from a 90% to a 10%, she doesn't text me at all, it's like she trying to forget me, today she just text me to tell me that she can't hang out after school no more as before, it's like she's is trying to avoid me, please help

[talaniman]

Let it go guy, maybe her parents have her on lock down or a tight leash. For whatever reason things are not working at the moment, just back off regroup, and focus on other things in your life. Being stuck on one person for to long is not healthy.

If she is blowing you off, take the hint. Leave it alone, young peoples feelings can change at any time, and many times, just do better at your next opportunity. You cannot control the feelings of others, nor should you try.

[k_sly23]

Should I still ask her out anyway, or at least ask her what's going on, I'm really into her, can't focus on school no more, I wake up and the first thing I do is check my phone, check face, check her old messages, then all day long still think about her, I just had a test yesterday and just couldn't finish can't focus at all, just left the room. I feel like just telling her everything I feel, or at least ask her what's going on, cause what really kills me is that I know I had a chance with her, but I wasn't paying attention to her, now it might be just too late

[talaniman]

You should be leaving her alone period, and taking control of yourself and keep your dignity and self respect.

It didn't work like you had hoped so leave it alone. Don't be stuck on YOUR intense feelings. She doesn't have them for you, so what's the point? We work through those feelings as its human to have them, we all do, but acting on them is about your choices, and YOU can control that.

Your confessions, and expressions of love are totally wasted on someone that doesn't want them. They will make you hated, not loved, despised, and not respected, miserable, NOT HAPPY. Cope with the feelings and control them, not let them control YOU!!

[halast7]

May be a bit late but here is my take on this as a girl. Her backing off was a sign for you to move things forward. She was waiting for you to get this and make a move. Even if she was ignoring you, deep down she secretly hopes you come after her and try and mend things and show that you really cared about her. Guys often make the mistake of taking so long to move things forward even when the girl has given them lots of positive signal. The girl would naturally think she either:
1) You are not that interested in her or do not care about her feelings and she is wasting her time and efforts
2) You are lazy or stupid
We women make small steps such as calling etc to show interest and hope the guy will get the hint and step in but guys fail to do this which lead us to think there is little or no interest.