[bellagio1]

I am hoping to help others in the same situation as myself with this question. My 18 year old son is still in high school. Our relationship has been very rocky since my divorce. I was married for 22 years to a police officer. I went through an incredible trauma through this divorce. My x cheated on me and because of his title... He claimed that I assaulted him. NOT TRUE!

He had off duty police officers come to our house 5 of them, while he took only his clothes out of the house. I believe this traumatized my son. He hardly saw my son in 6 months. After that, my son decided to move in with his dad. He left almost the same way his dad did. I have been left with divorce and empty nest. My son came over tonight only because I asked him to. I asked him why he didn't want to be around me... He stated we have not been close since he was 12 years old.Which I felt wasn't true but it is what my son thinks and feels at this time?

His dad was rarely involved in anything that went on with his life, He worked and I was the full time parent and part time worker. Always taking a back seat to the badge. Speaking of the badge, the Police dept. In my city could have cared less what I was going through. Did you know you can't get a restraining order on a police officer? But after the divorce my x bought him a truck, a quad, went on a mountain bike trip, jet skiing, parachuting, and more... He never cared about my sons feelings about how the divorce and what really happened. I would appreciate some feedback if anyone can help.

PS the x tried to get away with tax fraud, saw a window for child support, stole all the money from our bank accounts, etc. Thank God for good attorney's However, I'd live on a dollar a day to get my son to see that his father was the reason we divorced. I never told my son that he cheated on me. I didn't do that as My son knows this woman and went to school with her daughter. And I've never told him about why I delayed alimony in order to give my son a place to call home. In the end, it didn't work anyway. My son went with his dad. I still pray for peace for all involved. Including his father. As he will always be the father of my child.

[Julesiscool]

I'm very sorry this is happening, he is only sideing with his father because he was never the one who had to punish him when he made a mistake or tell him no, there for , even know u were doing what needed to be done as a good parent, you appear to be the bad guy. Also Boys tend to side with there dadas and girls with mothers. He is also at a stubern age where he wants freedom and his dad seems to be giving him what ever he wants, also you don't know what bull crap his dad is saying behind your back. I think you are a very good mother for not telling your son he cheated on you. However, if things get to out of hand & he asks you why you got a divorce you should tell him. Hopefully he will understaNd up you are the good guy as he matures, and he doesn't really hate you, he is just hurt by the divorce and situAton. A lot of kids with divorced Parents do this. So hang in there, constantly remind him you love him and always welcome him home which I know you already do. I hope I helped. Good luck

[bellagio1]

Thanks Juliesiscool! This answer helped! Thank you for your wisdom!

[bellagio1]

Thank you Julesiscool! Your answer provided me with peace of mind. I know in my heart he will come back around, it's just the waiting for that to mature that is hard. Thanks so much for the response.

[JudyKayTee]

I don't understand the "delaying alimony" part. In my area people can and do get restraining orders against Police Officers.

And your son probably goes where there are the fewest rules. All kids do.

Only time will make a difference.

[Julesiscool]

Your welcome, I'm 15 and I've met lots of kids with divorced parents and I myself went through 1 to. I'm glad it helped!