[madmommy09]

My 3 year old biological father has never been in his life and now he wants something to do with him my fiancŽ has been in his life since he was one what do I do

[ScottGem]

You really have little choice as to what to do. The biological father has rights. He may not have exercised those rights, but they exist. If he goes to court to exercise those rights, he will, probably be given some level of visitation.

What you can do is go after him for child support. If you haven't filed previously then file now.

Once you marry your fiancée, he may be able to adopt your child if the bio father doesn't object.

[Synnen]

What do you do?

You get visitation established through the courts and then follow that visitation schedule.

People change, and children should have the right to know their biological parents as long as those parents are not a danger to them.

Too many women are angry and bitter that a guy didn't stay with THEM that they withhold their children as punishment. The only person that punishes is the CHILD.

So.. start talking to your child about his biological daddy who is different from his everyday daddy and how he'll get to see him soon.

If you do this incorrectly and withhold his parent from him, your son is going to resent YOU in the end. Do whatever it takes to help them have a relationship and then if the biological father is a jerk, at least the child will know that you did everything possible to make it work.

[lainy1]

The OP does not have to welcome with open arms a father who has shown no interest for 3 years. Nor does it seem like the best thing to begin talking to a 3 year old about a new daddy when it's unclear how seriously the new daddy intends to take his responsibilities. People do change, but the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. It doesn't sound like the OP kept the father away for 3 years. A voluntary 3 year absence where someone else raised the child for 2 years is sufficient reason for the OP's concern. Does the OP think that the father will enter the child's life to leave and disappoint the child? Or is the concern that it will complicate the relationship between her and her fiancé?

The biological father can go to court to ask for visitation with the child and pay child support. If the father wants a relationship with his son and the OP does not voluntarily allow it, then his willingness to go through the court process is a good indication that he's not going to disappear on the child. If the biological father does not maintain contact with the child and the OP marries her fiancé then her new husband could file for a step-parent adoption. The OP should consult an attorney who could explain whether the 3 year absence has a legal impact on the father's rights.

[Fr_Chuck]

The biological father can go to court to ask for visitation with the child and pay child support. If the father wants a relationship with his son and the OP does not voluntarily allow it, then his willingness to go through the court process is a good indication that he's not going to disappear on the child. If the biological father does not maintain contact with the child and the OP marries her fiance then her new husband could file for a step-parent adoption. The OP should consult an attorney who could explain whether the 3 year absence has a legal impact on the father's rights.

Actually this is incorrect the bio father only has to go to court and ask for visitation. Visitation and support are two separate things, he can ask for one without the other. The mother will have to ask for support, if she has not already.

Next a step parent adoption requires consent and approval of the bio father, so it will not happen if the bio father wants visits and contacts.

And it does not matter if 3 years or 10 years, the court may require a gradual contact, perhaps counseling but the bio father will get visits if there is not a reason he is a threat to the child.

[JudyKayTee]

The OP does not have to welcome with open arms a father who has shown no interest for 3 years. Nor does it seem like the best thing to begin talking to a 3 year old about a new daddy when it's unclear how seriously the new daddy intends to take his responsibilities. People do change, but the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. It doesn't sound like the OP kept the father away for 3 years. A voluntary 3 year absence where someone else raised the child for 2 years is sufficient reason for the OP's concern. Does the OP think that the father will enter the child's life to leave and disappoint the child? Or is the concern that it will complicate the relationship between her and her fiance?

The biological father can go to court to ask for visitation with the child and pay child support. If the father wants a relationship with his son and the OP does not voluntarily allow it, then his willingness to go through the court process is a good indication that he's not going to disappear on the child. If the biological father does not maintain contact with the child and the OP marries her fiance then her new husband could file for a step-parent adoption. The OP should consult an attorney who could explain whether the 3 year absence has a legal impact on the father's rights.

This sounds straight from "Dr. Phil." In fact, it IS straight from Dr. Phil.

This is very dicey legal "advice," not necessarily correct.

The non-custodial parent isn't the one who files for child support (for starters). It's the CUSTODIAL parent who files. The non-custodial asks the Court for visitation and/or custody.

I am not aware of any State where a 3 year absence has a "legal impact."

Please post your research.

[ScottGem]

The OP does not have to welcome with open arms a father who has shown no interest for 3 years. Nor does it seem like the best thing to begin talking to a 3 year old about a new daddy when it's unclear how seriously the new daddy intends to take his responsibilities. People do change, but the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. It doesn't sound like the OP kept the father away for 3 years. A voluntary 3 year absence where someone else raised the child for 2 years is sufficient reason for the OP's concern. Does the OP think that the father will enter the child's life to leave and disappoint the child? Or is the concern that it will complicate the relationship between her and her fiance?

No one said the bio father needs to be welcomed with "open arms". Clearly a father who decides, after an extended period, that he wants to be a father, will have to overcome the mistakes he has made in the past. But that doesn't change the fact that the law gives the father rights. Nor that the courts tend to favor blood relations.

[Fr_Chuck]

Please understand, this is the legal section, not the relationship section, answers here are based on law not moral values of the legal rights.