[VintageHeart93]

My friends have been lately hanging out together more. I have to study sometimes and when I do I tell them I can't. But they began to include me in less and less stuff. Also, I was being scolded at more and being told I wasn't aggressive enough for certain things, which is true, but I'm learning how not to be and I'm still upset about it when someone says that.

The number one thing that aggravates me is being treated like a child, and so that's how I've been feeling. When I told them they told me I wasn't aggressive enough to tell them.
A few days ago we went to the store. I needed my meds, groceries, and bike stuff. We were there for almost an hour and my friend told me she had class at 6. It was 5:30 and I forgot my meds. So, I went to get them. I told her 5 min and it took 6-7 min. I rushed out to get to the car. I was yelled at for it and she said that I didn't care about her time. I'm still upset about it and I haven't talked to her since that day. My boyfriend says I'm acting childish,my friend says to hang out with different people for a while. I just don't know what to do.

[DoulaLC]

It may be that you and some of your friends are moving in different directions. It happens in friendships. Consider that you are likely not still friends with some of the people you knew just several years ago.

You are who you are. If you feel that you want to be more assertive in how you deal with some situations, than that is something you work on for yourself, not because others think you need to perhaps be more like them. Think assertive, not aggressive.

I can understand your friend's concern about her class, but she also needs to understand your need to pick up your medication. The fact that it took a bit longer than you expected was likely not something you had control over. Yelling at you was not necessary and I don't blame you for not wanting to speak to her for awhile, but it was likely out of her worrying about being late that she snapped at you.

If you find that you don't like how you have been treated lately, you could either speak to them about it, or just slowly let things progress to where you are spending less time with them and more with other friends.

[VintageHeart93]

I've been crying lately about it because I don't know if I'm suppose to apologize or not. I felt more upset for myself because I didn't say anything at the time and I felt weak.I'm not a mean person at all and I am not inconsiderate. I just sometimes don't think, especially if I'm pressed for time.

[DoulaLC]

You could bring it up a few different ways:

"Wow, you must have been really worried about being late for class the other day when you yelled at me for being a little later than I thought I would be. I've been thinking about that for a few days and have been really upset over it."

Or

"I know we haven't talked in a few days, but I needed to sort out in my head what happened the other day. I know it took a bit longer for me to get my meds than I thought it would, but I was very hurt when you yelled at me and told me I didn't care about your time."

Or

"I need to share with you how upset I was after you yelled at me the other day. I was truly surprised and hurt from your reaction. I apologize for being a bit later than I expected, but in no way does that mean that I don't care about your time."

Just some ideas to maybe get you started. Put it into your own words, but make the first move to address the issue. After all, working at being more assertive is something you said that you wanted to do. One of the first steps, and often the hardest, it not allowing people to treat you in ways that you know you don't deserve. You are not being aggressive, you are not being confrontational... you are simply telling them how their actions make you feel.

[Fr_Chuck]

Often, as we grow into teens or pre teens, friends change or we change. Not sure what culture or what area you live in, but I know in downtown Atlanta there is a bad culture where young people try to get other young people, not to do good in school, not to be polite, not to do things proper.

These are what we refer to as the bad kids normally, since their idea of life leads them down a hard patch.

You are not clear about what things you do, how things are changing, more info will help

[VintageHeart93]

Well right now, I'm in college in southern GA. One of the friends I've known since I was in middle school, the other I met here in college. The one who yelled at me I've only know for a few months.

[VintageHeart93]

Thank you :) I hope I haven't ruined a friendship..