[Shocked_30]

My fiancé of 8 years broke up with me in November when I was 5 months pregnant. He had just returned from a 2 month trip to L.A where he was trying to get contacts & find work in the film industry. We were living together in the UK, and he knew I was carrying his baby before he left.

Over the Xmas holiday I discovered (via Facebook) that he had met someone out there - and had apparently fallen in love with her. This he denied, before finally admitting it to me. I'm 30 years old - this girl is only 20.

Further to this, he returned to L.A on new years eve (for business apparently), and I have since found out that they have in fact got married whilst he has been there.

Shock!

He has made no secret of his wish to live out there and become this big-shot film director, but this seems a very extreme thing to do so soon after our break up - I have no doubt that he probably 'loves' her, but the fact is I am still very much pregnant with his baby & I don't know if this girl even knows of my existence, or knows about the baby!

Is this a shotgun wedding to get a visa/green card? And if so can he now stay out there and never come back? How do I make sure I get financial support from him? How do I handle the fact that his family may know and haven't told me? Can I trust them?

He is due to fly home next week, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he won't be on the plane.

What would you do in this situation?

Thanks in advance.

[Fr_Chuck]

You do nothing, it is no longer about you and him as a couple, he is free to move, to marry as he wishes. It is obvious that after all the years together he did not wish to marry you.

Also getting married in the US does not get him a green card.

What you do is wait till the baby is born and then file for custody and child support.

[talaniman]

What would I do? I would have a healthy child, and get a lawyer to get what that child, and you, are due by law, and I would waste no more tears or years on this fellow.

I don't know what type of relationship you have with his family, but they are your unborn child's relatives, whether you trust them, or NOT! Act accordingly in your child's best interest. For now though, make whatever adjustments you need to have a happy healthy life for you AND your child, without this fellow.

Doesn't matter whether he is successful or not, or married to you or someone else. Make sure he does his child support, no matter what. That's what I would do!

[mmresd]

Leave him be, yes he is a father of your baby, and to that baby he will owe child support and should he choose to be a good father it would be better, but you have no control over that. Whatever he has going on is his business, another relationship is none of your business, and if he got married or not doesn't matter to you because you two have no relationship ties.

Let him know he needs to still keep responsibility of the child and let him do his own thing. Don't think that he owes YOU anything, it is his kid he needs to take care of not you.

Also, stop stressing over this and pay attention to yourself and your kid, that is where your priorities should be.

[PunkkBarbiee]

What you do now, is focus on your pregnancy. If he was enough of a jerk to leave you while PREGNANT, he obviously has no back bone. He's gone, but that doesn't mean you can't still demand child support. You have that right and because you're a single mother, you WILL get it. He's gone. And about his family, well they may have not known either. I'm pretty sure they thought you guys were getting married. Get a lawyer and sue him for child support and stay away from him. You don't need him to be ruining your pregnancy and getting you in a sour mood. Instead, focus on what a great mother I'm sure you'll turn out to be.

Xoxo.
PunkkBarbiee.