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ladylove25 · Jan 17, 2012, 08:22 PM

It's a serious family issue question that I'm dealing with and I can't really talk to anybody because they will just blow it out of proportion.

Ok my step dad has practically raised me since I was 2. He is a good step dad and a better parent than my dad ever was. Its just that ever since I was a teenager I have noticed that my step dad has been acting non fatherish toward me. He asks for more hugs when I was a teenager and now. Also one time when I hugged him he did it too close and he got a boner. Now I don't want to hug him at all unless my mother is there with him. When she is there he seems to act normal. But when he is with me he acts different. Always poking me and tickling me and calls me beautiful. Its getting uncomfortable. I don't know what to do. I try to never be alone with him because he may do things that would make me think he's a pervert which he is. I'm 20 yrs old and I'm getting tired of it. Any advice?

VintageHeart93 · Jan 21, 2012, 01:49 PM

Sounds like he's become attracted to his step daughter now that she's grown into a young women. I would honestly talk to the guy and tell him enough is enough. Tell him you feel really uncomfortable when he does stuff like that and see what he says. In the end, if it's something disturbing I would go to your mom.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2012, 02:11 PM

I do not have enough info here to have an opinion.

As children get older, parents ( and I include step parents if they were raising you) get used to hugs and affection. As teens get older they forget how most likely they were giving hugs every other minute during the day . All of my younger kids did. And as they got older, it was harder and harder to get hugs.

And as for as "one boner" he may have had it before because of his wife, a TV show, or other reason.

So without more than just this little bit, I would say it may even be more in the mind of the poster here than anything in real life.

But at 20 if you don't want to hug closely, just give a small hug, some people are my hugs than others, in church we all hug everyone all the time.

ladylove25 · Jan 22, 2012, 03:23 PM

I like to receive hugs like anyone would I'm guessing. But I have noticed this behavior before. Also my sister said once that he was peeping at her while she was taking a shower years ago when she was a teen. When I did hug him and it has happened before, he would get erections. Because I would notice something poking me that I didn't feel before. I have not said anything because it would cause stress on my moms part and it would become a big deal to them. Now that I'm a bit older I feel like I need to discuss this here and get some advice because I do not know what to do. I do not know how to tell him. I think I should move out or something. Even if I tell him I want a "small hug" which I have said before he would give one to me. He like long hugs unless I pull away by force. Then he thinks why I don't give him enough affection and he knows why.