[Pregnant_lady]

K so... I am over 7 months pregnant... I was not together with the biological father web I got pregnant... I want sole custody as I have a new boyfriend that can provide for us and wants to raise my child as our own.. The biological father has a temporary job part time... I work a full time and a part time job my entire pregnancy... Does he have the right to file for custody when he has had almost no part in my life since I about 2 months after I got pregnant? And I barely speak to him... And just want our child to have a stable loving home with out a broken family... Please help me

[cdad]

Yes he has the right to file for visitation. Its not a surprise that there is little or stressed contact with him as you have a shiny new boyfriend.

There is always a lot of tension going on when new relationships are created.

[Pregnant_lady]

I stopped talking to him before I ever got a boyfriend... Long story but he never showed he want to be a father and was jobless until just recently

[Fr_Chuck]

So jobless was OK when you were sleeping with him for fun, but jobless is not OK as a father?

Sorry that is how you made it sound.

But yes he has full and equal rights, he can and may file for joint custody or for visits, his working or not working has nothing to do with it. He will, if he wants it, get at least visits. You can file for support after the child is born.

When you file for custody of the child, then you will know what he will try to file for.

[ScottGem]

You made a choice to engage in sex with this person. That decision had consequences and you now have to deal with those consequences.

The biological father has rights, but he has to choose to exercise those rights. You can't shut him out just because you don't think he'll make a good father.

If you decide to get married, then your husband can petition to adopt your child. The bio father will have to agree. That's the only way you will get his rights terminated.

[Pregnant_lady]

Ok... There is a very long story behind it... We dated in the past he did have a job... Then he decided to go to school and got fired which I was still OK with... Then he dropped out of school and did absolutely nothing... He was a cheater which is why we didn't wrk and I stopped trying with him... Im not a terrible person... If u knew the whole story I'm sure u would understand

[Pregnant_lady]

And I don't want support caus he can't even support himself...

[JudyKayTee]

There's no one who doesn't understand the situation. It's how you GOT to the situation that's hard to understand. And just so you know (and you can read the various threads if you don't believe me) men who become fathers (and don't want to be) write about the mother, his "ex," as a complete mental case, drunk, promiscuous person. The mothers who are fighting with the fathers portray the fathers as (usually) drug addicts, drunks, unstable people who can't hold a job. Welcome to the Club.

First, you cannot deny him rights he is granted BY THE COURT (which requires HIM to file for custody and/or visitation). He is the father and he can exercise his rights as a father. YOU would file for support and it's an entirely different issue. He can pay support and not have visitation and the other way around.

The whole boyfriend issue is not going to help you in Court - it appears that approximately seven months ago the unemployed guy was your boyfriend or at least someone you were having sex with.

Now there's a new boyfriend who wants to father the child.

That makes it sound like you aren't terribly selective.

At any rate - if you should MARRY and be in a stable relationship (which varies by State) your husband can attempt to adopt the child.

In the meantime I would be very careful how many boyfriends pass through because that CAN be used as evidence against you if the father argues you are not providing a stable home for the child.

[Pregnant_lady]

Ok... Well thanks for the info... Good to know my predicament makes me sound like a slut... That is just fantastic... So all in all he has rights if he goes to court got it

[ScottGem]

No one is saying you are a terrible person and especially not a slut. But we do get a good many questions similar to yours. We do understand that this guy may have seemed nice when you started dating him. And maybe he did change or maybe you were fooled by him. We don't know.

What we DO know is that you made a decision to have sex with him. We are not judging you on that, we are just trying to make you aware that, by making that decision, you have entwined your life with his basically forever. This is his child also and you need to understand that. What he wants to do about it will be mostly his choice. Maybe he changes back to be a nice guy and a standup father. Neither you nor I know what will happen in the future.

Maybe he won't care, and will agree to allowing your boyfriend to adopt after you are married. None of us really knows. But what you need to know is that he has rights and if he chooses to exercise them a court will allow him his rights.

[AK lawyer]

... I was not together with the biological father w[hen] I got pregnant ...

Now that's pretty amazing. How did you manage to pull that off? Artificial insemination perhaps?

[JudyKayTee]

Ok... Well thanks for the info... Good to kno my predicament makes me sound like a slut... That is just fantastic... So all in all he has rights if he goes to court got it

If you go into Court with a chip on your shoulder you are going to lose.

If you want only to hear what you want to hear, talk to your friends. If you want to hear the truth about how Court works, this is the place to go.

I have no idea what qualifies a person to be a slut - I'm just telling you how your story looks to people who don't know you and how it will look to a Judge. You could run into roadblocks - and that's all I'm saying.