[FiestyBlondeMom]

I lost my dad a year ago to a heart attack and have since been trying to plan ahead for myself. Here's my issue... I've been told that if I die my children will automatically go to their sperm donor even if I have a will stating I want them with my family. I don't feel its in my children's best interest to send them to someone who's had nothing to do with them for 10 years, not to mention he's a registered sex offender. Am I able to have him sign all rights over so that if I were to die my kids would remain with my family?

[cdad]

Unless there is an adoption in the wings the courts may be reluctant to remove rights. Was the offence against a minor child?

[FiestyBlondeMom]

Yes, apparently his ex wife's daughter. From what I understand she wasn't even 16 at the time.

[ScottGem]

There is this myth that a parent can just sign over their parental rights. But it is just a myth. Only a court can issue a TPR and courts are generally reluctant to do so.

You have been told correctly that you can't assign children in a will. Children are not property.

However, if he is a registered sex offender, you may be able to have his rights terminated as a danger to the children. I would certainly consult with a Family Law attorney about this possibility. A local attorney will know the mood of the courts and the possibility of getting this through.

By the way, if he were truly a "sperm donor", then you wouldn't have to worry about this. But the fact is that you, apparently willingly, had sex with him more than one since you refer to children. You made the choice to have children with him and now you must live with the consequences of that choice.

[FiestyBlondeMom]

Scott I made the decision to be with him based off lies. The fact that this man never thought being a registered offender wasn't something I needed to know sickens me, it took taking him to court to find out. I obviously wasn't smart enough at the time I was seeing him to run a background check and I can't change that. My twins mean the world to me and all I can do is continue protecting them and raising them as I have from day one.

I just want to make sure that if my health were to take a wrong turn that my children are going to be taken care of by the people they've known all their lives, not a stranger who we obviously can't trust.

Hopefully the judge will terminate his rights and I won't have worry about my children.

[ScottGem]

Please don't get me wrong. We all makes mistakes, are fooled by people we put our trust in. I'm sorry, you had to experience that. But for many of us the term sperm donor shouldn't be used as a pejorative. A sperm donor is more often someone who altruistically donates sperm to help childless couples. So to apply it as you did is wrong.

[Fr_Chuck]

Agree, you will have to take him back to court to have his rights taken away, it is not always easy, and you will have to prove though his criminal record he is a threat to the child.