[love_lillania]

I've been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years now. We met while both working at a casino. At first things were good, we would go out on dates and money was never an issue. He always paid for everything, lunch, dinner, bar, club, concerts, etc. And never complained. And I would always buy him random things I knew he needed. Then I got laid off and I started going to school full time. I had no source of income other than financial aid for school. I lived at home with my mom so I didn't have to pay rent. He was living with his parents also and they made him pay $300 a month.

About a year into our relationship he got kicked out of his parent's house and he had nowhere to go, so he asked me if he could live with me. I told him I had to ask my mom, she said it was okay as long as he paid $200 in rent. Things were okay at first, I would cook and have dinner ready for him when he came home from work and I always did his laundry. But while living together I began to see how he was with his money. Every thing he spent and made he would log into a calendar. And at this point we had stopped going out anywhere and spent most of our time at home together.

Whenever we would get into an argument about something, he would always bring up all the money he spent on me when we did go out somewhere in the past. I just don't understand what money has to do with how much you love someone. When you say you love them then you don't mind doing nice things for them; whether it be buying them lunch, or cooking them dinner at home. He only sees the money he has spent on me in the past, but he doesn't see the things I've done for him. Just because I didn't spend a lot of money to make him dinner or do his laundry, he doesn't feel I've contributed and invested in the relationship the same amount he has. So what do you think, is he cheap?

[orangebutter]

Yup I think he is cheap in terms that he is trying to be frugal because he needs money.
He is livng in your house right? That is frugality dear! Because if he has money he wouldn't live with you.
Boys do pay the bills always on a date to show gentleness, and because they want to please their dates.
Money actually has a lot to do with everything because that's the center of how we're suppose to live, we buy things to live, its material and we need it. It keeps us to where we want to. It just depends on how to you deal with it if you have a lot or less or nothing at all.

Your boyfriend maybe is saving for the future, for security, you van't just spend and spend your money with things that aren't really a necessity. Besides you guys are together for 2years now so maybe yeah he is saving.
Just remember why you fell for him. It isn't about the dates wherein he spent more money right?
It definitely has something to do with why you fell for him and how you still manage to work that for the past two years

[Fr_Chuck]

If his money is limited it sounds like he is trying to be on a budget. If you two are living together, you need to sit down as a couple and talk about where all the money goes.

It appears that without you working he sees more of his money going to you and not him, which is harder for him to understand at this point.

[talaniman]

No he isn't cheap, just stressed. The relationship changed and he is no longer the carefree secure guy. You both have changed since now you live together, and you must make some adjustment to both thinking and attitude as you are both seeing each other in a whole different light.

You have changed from fun date to live in girlfriend, and you both are young and spoiled, and he does pay rent. If he doesn't he is OUT, you are NOT!

Big difference dating, and living together. Adjust, and try not to be so frustrated as its not as much fun any more is it?

The honeymoon is finally over and the work begins, so better learn how to express yourselves to each other, so you can build a life that makes you both happy, and gets you through the glitches, and events that reality sends you through.

ADJUST to the changes, and love each other. Few guys think that cooking and cleaning is a job unless the do it themselves, and I bet that's what his MOMMY use to do for him.