[frankplank]

Should I finish it with my boyfriend, when we first got together I found 1,000 images of granny porn on his phone and I have been with him for four years and this is ongoing I always find *** stains on the bed and he doesn't sleep with me. We get on well but I just find he's with me out of habit but I need to know am I over reacting about the porn issue I have found mags under the bed and porn DVDS hidden in a speaker? Maybe he likes older women but I am only 19 and its giving me a complex about sex and older women in general!

[CravenMorhead]

Do you live together?

How is the sex/relationship overall. Not including the porn?

If there's no problem with the sex/relationship I wouldn't worry about it. Just don't stumble over it too much. Maybe let him know you found it and maybe let him be more discrete about it.

The wording, "Should I just let him watch porn?", amuses me. It isn't for you to let him do anything, especially with his porn. He is going to do it regardless. It isn't really a reflection on you or his satisfaction with you in the relationship. It is his selfish moment to pleasure himself, by himself without having to worry about anything but himself. Everyone needs those moments.

Good luck.

[smoothy]

Should I finish it with my boyfriend, when we first got together I found 1,000 images of granny porn on his phone and I have been with him for four years and this is ongoing I always find *** stains on the bed and he doesn't sleep with me. We get on well but I just find he's with me out of habit but I need to know am I over reacting about the porn issue I have found mags under the bed and porn DVDS hidden in a speaker? Maybe he likes older women but I am only 19 and its giving me a complex about sex and older women in general!

Cripes... get over it already, you ARE over reacting. If you can't deal with this... you are going to have one hell of a problem dealing with life in general.

I like blondes, and always have... but know what, I married a brunette.

I've had a thing for Japanese women... but I married an Italian woman.

My wife knows all of this... she doesn't get bent or even raise an eyebrow over it.

You are not only making a mountain out of a molehill, but you are comparing apples to oranges too.

And just to pipe in with this... Life doesn't even really begin until after 30... and there are plenty of damned attractive older women. Which might come as a surprise to you, but some are even in their 40's, 50's and gasp, even their 60's.

Now that I got that off my chest... is he dating you or your mother? Give that some thought... because if he wanted... he could be with any numbber of women other than you... but guess where he is? Right, he's with you... does this not tell you anything?

[frankplank]

Thank I totally agree with both of you and yes maybe I worded the question title wrong because I agree it's a normal, self thing to do like I can't pretend I don't pleasure myself. But Yes I do live with him... and yes we get on but no sex at all, I have a high sex drive he must do because I know he's always masturbating I have asked him to involve me but whenever I do something sexy or try to make him want it he just laughs at me.

I am not fussy I am quite laid back but only lately from it going strong for four years it has bothered me and yes I am the same I think french men are sexy but I am with a welsh guy. I am not saying that older women aren't attractive or that its illegal for him to wank over it but I just wanted to understand that's all from everyone point of view but thanks for your inputt guys! (:

[smoothy]

Couple questions...

Does he get regular physicals from a doctor? Everything OK? Like no high blood pressure, no problems with diabetes? Is he on any medications?

On another front... work. Is he in a physically tiring job? Has he had an increase in stress?

I'm going to assume from what you've said, there isn't any issues in the relationship you are aware of.

And last of all... did that taper off gradually, or did it occur suddenly?

[Fr_Chuck]

I would wonder why he is "hiding" it all, under the bed, in a speaker, how old is he 12 or 13?

A man should be honest enough to admit what he does.

[frankplank]

No medications nothing that I am aware of, he seems okay with work because I thought of all of these things but when I first got with my partner we were fine I still had to beg him for sex but we had it more than now I mean its dead our sex life has been put into a coffin.

And at his age he should be at least wanting to have sex once a month At least. But I find older men attractive but I don't pleasure myself over photos of them nearly every chance I can... so I don't know what to suggest? But thanks smoothy! When he was young he used to play bowls and maybe he had like a crush and didn't know about it? And he's a mummys boy?

So I don't know maybe he's already put into his head what he perceives as sexy to him? Hmmm and yes FR_chuck I said to him in a calm way I am not really going shout at you for doing it but at least tell me so I don't have to clean c u m stains off our sheets and yes most 12-13 year olds do that and the worst thing was he went to his family home and took all of his younger brothers porn?

I just don't know what to think?? Also I don't want to control him.. or feel he has to stop doing something he likes... but there has to be some point where he might just want to touch a real vagina instead of staring at someone else's... ONCE again thanks for the input!

[talaniman]

You have been together for 4 years so of course things have changed, so you make adjustments and develop other areas of the relationship, that are even more important.

The mark of any GOOD relationship, is how you deal with the tough times. Be it sex, finances, bad health, family, storms, and droughts. They are but obstacles to overcome. You keep the love alive together, by talking and making adjustments, and talking some more. When the minds are together, the bodies come together a lot quicker.

[chillywilly1991]

I had this problem as well with my boyfriend.
He has porn videos, he watches porn on TV, porn on the internet and now on his phone. I'm not an idiot, I know guys had porn in their life long before they had any woman but its an issue when you know there still enjoying their daily wank over some hot fit blonde girl with massive boobs but they can't be botherd with having sex with you, the real shi-bang! At least with my boyfriend he's very upfront and i.e, "im a man so i watch porn,DEAL with it". I've explained this upsets me, as with every other normal girl out their,I do not in any way shape of form resemble a porn star and never will,and it can feel like I'm the girl he sleeps with but not the girl he wants in a way?
I'm having trouble with the lack of sex as well,its maybe twice a month,which I can live with (almost) but any moment some hot young thing comes on TV he'l jump out of his seat, he changes the channel if he thinks he's seen a boob, wear as I can stand there naked doing a handstand and he won't even blink.
The porn is just a guy thing and it's better to be upfront than hiding it under your bed, and as for the no sex thing, it could be difference of sex drives,but even hugh heffner gets it up so I think you need to sort that out before anything, have a talk, explain things, just jump on him in the shower :P it won't go away if you just ignore it

[JudyKayTee]

I would wonder why he is "hiding" it all, under the bed, in a speaker, how old is he 12 or 13?

A man should be honest enough to admit what he does.

In view of the OP's conflicting posts I think they BOTH should be honest.

Here she lives with her boyfriend

Over here (same date) - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ml#post3002375 she wants to move out of her father's house but can't afford to do so.

I never understand this when people do not reveal their identity so no one is going to read what they've posted and track them down. Tell the same story and it's easier to answer the question.

In now doubt everything the OP says - and I have answered and tried to "help."

[smoothy]

Unless she has been living with her boyfriend AT her dads house for 4 years... something I'll venture a guess very, very few parents would permit much less tolerate.

[frankplank]

I live with my boyfriend at my dads house?

[JudyKayTee]

Based on your threads I think it's time you and your boyfriend pull yourselves together and go off on your own. He is taking advantage of your family... and I'm not sure you aren't. No WONDER you have problems with your father!

[Dee_Kowalsky]

No one is against pornography more than I have because my ex was a porn addict, but it sounds to me like you got way too many issues to worry about whether he watches porn or not.