[jen222]

Hey wanted your insight on this one. Anyway I met a guy at a bar a couple of months ago. We talk a lot on the phone email, but he never wanted to give me his last name. Anyway I found out his information, and he was honest about everything. I guess he wanted to be cautious. Anyway do you think I have the right person. I think I have the right person just want to make sure. I will do a chart what do you think?

Same name
Same town
Same birthday
Same job
Has two brothers 2 years apart which he told me
Has a sister 6 years apart which he said
Same colleges he went to..
Part of a Country he comes from.

I was able to find all this, just wanted to be careful. Do I have the same person?

[CliffARobinson]

I think you have the right person, but the question is, will he be freaked out by having you stalk him? (even though it is virtually). Would it be better if you went back to the bar and hoped to see him again?

If you decide to reach out to this person, I would be partially upfront about it in a funny way. "I don't want you to think I'm a crazy stalker, but"...

What do you think? What do others think?

[Wondergirl]

I would put all this information on the back burner on very low heat, and continue to email with him, talk on the phone him, and suggest you two get together again, perhaps out to dinner at a family-type restaurant. See where it goes from there.

Now, I'm a girl, so if a guy ever told me he did all that you have done to find out who I am, I would be freaked and would cut all contact with him. Maybe doing that for a guy would be flattering or at least not as threatening, but if I were you, I wouldn't mention your sleuthing until after you get to know him much better.

And yes, it sounds like you've got the right guy pinned down.

[jen222]

Hi I know what you mean. Just been burned so many times that I was just being cautious..

[talaniman]

I can see being cautious, PRIVATELY, but have you not verified and learned his last name in the last few months? Tried to meet up?

[Fr_Chuck]

You meet in a bar, so you have to leave close to each other,

Why have you not been on more physcial dates? Possible he is dating someone, engaged or even married.

Also don't ever tell him you did all of that research, it would scare him off for sure.