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Slurpee7 · Jan 12, 2012, 10:14 AM

I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 22. We've been together for about 4 months and have a pretty normal healthy relationship.

I'm in excellent physical condition, I don't drink or do drugs, I'm not gay or any other sexual whatever you can think of.

My problem; I can't hold an erection during sex. Intercourse or oral. My girlfriend becomes so depressed and angry because she thinks I'm not attracted to her, which is a lie. I think she's beautiful, sexy, and perfect in every way. This problem started when I was about 15 with my first girlfriend, I never achieved a full erection and never could get off. I was also watching a lot of porn when I was 15 and masturbating a lot, so I could see the problem there.

Now? I go weeks without masturbating, sometimes a months. I don't watch porn anymore and if I do it's once every month - two months. I still cannot achieve a full erection even when I'm by myself. Since about 18 years old my libido has declined to where it's almost non-existent.

I'm also a virgin. I have horrible anxiety and OCD, I also went through a depression that destroyed my life. Since my depression my sex-drive has almost disappeared. My anxiety doesn't help and the OCD drives me insane. I've been tested for low testosterone and thyroid problems and both came back in perfect working condition.

When my girlfriend and I are making out I get hard and am attracted to her, but when it comes time to do anything having to please me, I lose it.

What should I do? What could be wrong with me?

Karagyozi · Jan 12, 2012, 10:45 AM

Uhhhh... how are you a virgin if you have had intercourse... to completion or not?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 12, 2012, 11:26 AM

Ok, I will not get into if or if not are actually a virgin,

But yes your OCD, your depression ( and most certainly their medication) can do this. Plus nerves when you actually start.

Time to see your doctor about it.

Slurpee7 · Jan 12, 2012, 11:26 AM

I lose my erection before penetration. Sorry, should have made that clear.

Also: I have been diagnosed with Peyronie's disease, if that helps any.

CravenMorhead · Jan 12, 2012, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by Slurpee7

Also: I have been diagnosed with Peyronie's disease, if that helps any.

One of the main symptoms that Wiki lists here is Erectile Dysfunction. I think that combined with everything else is causing your problem. As well as a lot of mental performance anxiety.

I am not sure completely how to help you with this. Besides tell you to go see your doctors about this issue. Both your physician and your psychiatrist. It seems like the perfect storm of minor maladies that are causing this.

neondizzle · Jan 12, 2012, 02:20 PM

Have you tried some testosterone shots? Regardless of the results coming back normal?

neondizzle · Jan 12, 2012, 02:25 PM

The reason I ask is because at one point I had low test levels and when they started me on a cycle, my libido increased dramatically

Slurpee7 · Jan 12, 2012, 03:28 PM

I didn't know you could get testosterone shots if your levels are normal. I would love to have my libido back, I hate not being attracted to anything.

I don't know how to approach my DRs with these problems because I feel as they're going to take the " Wait and see " method with it.

Cat1864 · Jan 13, 2012, 09:26 AM

On the girlfriend issue: Be honest about your medical issues. Show her information about the Peyronie's disease and together look up the side-effects of your medications. If she still thinks it is all about her, then you may want to re-think this relationship. Adding stress to already existing problems is not something you or any relationship needs.

About the doctors: They need to know what you are experiencing. They may say wait and see. They may say, 'Let's try this... ' If you feel like they aren't listening to you, let them know you are going to seek another doctor's opinion. Don't expect miracles, but do expect to be treated like a partner in your health care. Keep in mind that they can't help you if you aren't honest and open with them. Don't let your anxiety talk you out of getting help.

With your medical history, I am wondering if you have been through so many medical exams that your mind is shutting things down because of memories. If it is part of the problem, then you may need to re-train your body and mind. If so, then it will take a partner who is understanding and patient. Someone who is willing to work with you over time.

Good luck.