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dasoo · Jan 10, 2012, 05:45 AM

My husband wants an in hand relationship in terms of spanking. His reasons are 1. He is a physically abusive person so that's a way he can release his tension in a civilized way. 2. I am a dominant person so he needs to discipline me. I don't agree with his theory because, you don't demand respect, that causes fear, you earn it.

He lost his authority in our household because he hardly works, doesn't earn enough to sustain his expenses, so he is frustrated, and he constantly is screaming. His reason for not making it in the working world is he has not seen a light at the end of a tunnel. I am with him 10 years to know him, he makes excuses for any way not for him to work. I on the other hand on his not being able to buy necessities, started baking from home to supplement. My business has grown, and is growing rapidly (with him trying in different ways to stop its growth). I pay for majority of the expenses and he wants to cut me down. A man who is in charge pays the bills also.

I get under pressure with deadlines, so he says I need spanking to calm me down. This scenario reminds me of those husband who sit at home, get drunk, and abuse the wife & children.

JudyKayTee · Jan 11, 2012, 01:51 PM

I don't know why you are even asking this because you already appear to know - no, it's not for you - and what the money situation has to do with anything.

If you don't want to be spanked, tell him so.

If he can't support his family, tell him that.

If you are upset about something else, tell him that.

talaniman · Jan 11, 2012, 05:42 PM

Seems to me he is the one in need of discipline, and a good spanking. Of course you don't feed this fool his fantasy, and give him more power over you. He doesn't deserve to sleep in your bed, or be in your life so why are you dragging his dead weight around?

Jake2008 · Jan 17, 2012, 05:42 AM

If you are looking for a way to justify accepting abuse, you won't find it here.

Just what is your question? Are you looking for confirmation that you are being abused? Are you looking for advice on how to set some firm boundaries with consequenses? Are you thinking about divorce?

His behaviour toward you is pretty clear, but, the other 50% of this situation is that you accept it, and have for 10 years.

More information on what your goals, thoughts, plans etc. are, would be helpful.