[jojo828]

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now. He started to be very loving and was always first to text me. Lately he is still really loving to me, but I find that I am the one that has to initiate the texting first.

I find that he is a bit distant with me. I ask him what's wrong, or if I did something to upset him, he will tell me that he's fine. I constantly worry that he is going to leave me. He's started to look at apartments for us to move in together in April, but I am just really scared that something bad is going to happen.

I love him so much, and I fear that my insecurities and my constant need of wanting him to tell me that he is going to stay is going to scare him away.

[Ice_Princess]

Have you read "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus?" In this book it explains the rubberband effect. What this means is, sometimes, guys are like stray cats. They cuddle up for a while, they leave, then they come back when hungry again. (Hungry as in, he misses you.) They need (sometimes it's the girl that's this way) space. After they've had their breather, they come zooming back. (Hence, the rubberband: pull away, spring back.) Knowing this, there are two scenarios that could explain your boyfriend's behavior:

ONE: Your boyfriend loves you. Obviously, he's still imagining a future with you because he's the one looking for an apartment for who? You and him, together, to live in. Right now he's just going through the rubberband effect, and he'll be back. So stop texting him. When he's ready, or misses getting your texts, he'll contact you. And you'll know you didn't impede him and that he finally texted first again. Give him space. Give him a chance to miss you.

TWO: Your boyfriend is two-faced. He's plotting to dump you, but he doesn't want you to know until he actually dumps you, so he's leading you along until the last minute. He's keeping up the "good boyfriend" routine by talking of your future together, while slowing sliding away, like by texting less, so that when he does dump you he can say, "well, it wasn't like I wasn't already drifting away from you. I gave you signs."

You know your boyfriend best, so which one is he? Which situation seems more likely to you?

[talaniman]

You obviously don't know each other well enough to move in together. So hold off and have fun getting to know each other. What's the hurry? Establish some honest communications that's lacking from you both. That's how you get facts and understanding instead of just feelings.