[momoftwogrls]

I have been following what you wrote about your 14 year old niece, and was curious how everything went?

You mentioned that you sat down with her one night and explained the goals, privileges, rules, and consequences with her... Do you think you could share them with me because I really need help in that area with my two daughters..

Thanks

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry, this is your first post, are you trying to reference someone else's post ? This is not a blog, so we have no idea what other post you are talking about.

[momoftwogrls]

Yes, I was referencing a woman that was caring for her 14 year old niece... And was seeking help with house rules, privileges, consequences, and goals and (poor grades, tardiness, missed homework assignments, curfew, household chores, talking back, excessive computer and phone time, and simply putting their own dishes in the sink)

I ultimately want to have a happy home with a set of house rules to make all of our lives easier...

I would appreciate any feedback on what other parents house rules etc.

Thanks,
Momoftwogrls

[Aurora_Bell]

We can certainly offer your more advice about your situation! What kinds of problems are you having with your girls?

I think the main thing is to be consistent and not offer empty threats. If the rule is "Sarah" has to empty the dishwasher after school everyday, make sure it gets done, if not she looses a privilege. Some parents have success with a 3 strike rule, as this offers gentle reminders along the way. Gradually phase out the 3 strike, but make sure they are aware that you are phasing it out.

I always liked the chart ideas. Make a list of all the things you need and want done through out the week, divvy up the chores between the girls and the next week they switch off so they don't feel that one gets off easier than the other. If these rules get broken you need to stick to your guns and offer consequences.

If you gave us more info on your girls, we can offer more solutions to your specific situation.

[momoftwogrls]

I have two girls that are 13 and 14. They pretty much listened to me until they reached the age of 12. Now they are challenging me on everything from:
Wearing each others clothes without approval
Caring for their pets
Household chores which I have not made a list up yet (weekdays and weekends)
Missing assignments but won't take care of them when I ask them too
Talking back
Spending too much time on the computer(facebook)
Failing some subjects
They won't wake when I ask them too, so they are late every morning
They won't go to bed when I ask them too, so they are too tired to get up
They won't clean their room, make their beds, put their clothes away when I was them, dry, and fold them
They won't put their dishes in the sink let alone put them in the dishwasher

So I thought of asking what other people have done in their households as far as house rules and chores along with consequences..
Anything would help :)

[Aurora_Bell]

My parents had a strange way of "punishing" me. When I left the lights on, they took my light bulb away. They said when I could respect that electricity costs money, I could have the privilege of having some. When we first got internet I was allotted a certain amount of time each day, I could add more time by doing extra chores, My mom put a lock on the computer and when I was allowed to use it, she would un-lock it for me. When I didn't want to put my clothes away, she stopped washing them. I learned quickly that going to school with dirty, wrinkly clothes sucked.

It's hard as far as the clothes go, I never had any siblings, so I can't offer much advice there.

My parents were big fans of the groundings. I got grounded when I failed classes or didn't hand in reports. My parents went as far as unplugging the phones and T.V in my room and I was left with nothing but books and homework to do. You can always put their phones on temporary suspension as punishment as well.

My daughter is only 4, but I have a small list of chores for her. She gets a $1 a day for every day the "chores" are done. We set up her own bank account and now she loves going in on Fridays with her own card and depositing the money.

Do you offer an allowance to your girls?