[Lonely4Friends]

:: Cloned from ask.com ~> [URL="[/URL] ::

I'm 21 and autistic. Mentally/emotionally, I'm like a child. As such, I get along best with children, and shun the company of adults. Obviously, there are problems with that. I understand the worrisome looks I get from parents when I ride my bike or walk my dog and talk to their children. It's natural. In fact, I prefer their supervision. They provide witness to my innocence. However, all too often (understandably), they restrict their children from being friends with me. This leaves me constantly lonely.

So how do I explain my condition and ease their minds? How can I get them to trust me? I'm here trying to get honest help. I'd like the input of actual parents here. To be honest, if you are not a parent, I can't really respect your opinion, as you have no experience. Sorry if I'm a bit rude, but I will ignore you. So, non-parents, please don't respond.

[Wondergirl]

I'm not only a parent, but one of my children is autistic and I am married to a man who is autistic. I write for a major magazine devoted to autism.

Were you formally diagnosed as autistic? Your symptoms/characteristics do NOT describe autism at all.

[Lonely4Friends]

@Wondergirl:
No, I have not been formerly diagnosed as autistic, as I can't afford a doctor. However, I do present most of the symptoms including(but not limited to): Few Friendships or Relationships, Non-Verbal Communication Challenges, Sensory Processing Disorder, Lack of Empathy and Shared Perspective, Verbal Communication Problems, Preoccupation with Certain Items or Topics, Repetitive and Stereotyped Behaviors, Need for Routine, Savant Skills, Sleep Problems and Anxiety*. I could explain my symptoms more in detail, but I'd rather not as it is embarrassing enough to be here.
When I was younger, though, I was formally diagnosed with Bi-Polar (inherited from my father), ADHD, and various other minor "disorders" that I believe caused them to miss the autism signs.

Anyway, regardless whether I am truly autistic or not, I am mentally/emotionally incapable of properly interacting with people my own age or older. I am only comfortable around people my "thinking age" as I think like a child. So how can I keep friends?
*source ~> http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Adult_Autism_Symptoms

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry, you perhaps need to start trying to be less childish, Perhaps you should try and develop adult friendships.

Perhaps instead of trying to change everyone else, you need to change yourself. No I would not let you be playing with my children either.

[Wondergirl]

No, I'm not going to diagnose you, but I know enough about autism that this is NOT autism: "I am mentally/emotionally incapable of properly interacting with people my own age or older. I am only comfortable around people my "thinking age" as I think like a child."

Autistic people don't think like a child. Most of them are far smarter than you and I are and don't relate well to ANYone except possibly animals.

As Fr_Chuck said, it would be a good idea to form friendships or at least acquaintanceships with people your age or older. Join a book discussion group or writers' group at your public library, volunteer at an animal shelter or hospital, visit a nursing home and read a book to someone, a chapter at each visit, and also chat with them about their long life.

There are many ways to skin a cat, and also to find counseling. Check with the county, your township, even your village hall or library reference department. Many counselors and even doctors have a sliding scale and/or payment plan or will work something out with you. If you're in the US, finding professional help is a piece of cake and a couple of Google searches. I'd be VERY surprised if any professional labels you autistic with the information you have provided so far. And the worst thing anyone can do is diagnose himself. I almost died two years ago when I did that to myself.

[Lonely4Friends]

@Wondergirl:
I would greatly like to fix my problem. Once again, Whether I have Autism or not, I obviously have a problem. However, as much as I try I cannot find anyone, anywhere that will perform a diagnosis (positive or negative) for free. If it truly is as easy as you claim, please give me a link or a phone number. I could be so much more successful and happy if I could get along with everyone else.

[Wondergirl]

Are you in the US? If so, Google your town name and some appropriate keywords... "Atlanta Georgia counselor sliding scale," for instance.

You do NOT want a diagnosis.

[Lonely4Friends]

If I don't get a diagnosis, what do I tell the counselor I need help with? Most counselors specialize in specific fields, right? How do I get the right one?

[Wondergirl]

If I don't get a diagnosis, what do I tell the counselor I need help with? Most counselors specialize in specific fields, right? How do I get the right one?

First, let me say right now that I am a counselor. I've worked with individuals, couples, and families, as well as with elderly people who want to resolve problems before they die. Most counselors/therapists meet with people who present every problem under the sun.

A diagnosis is the least of your worries. A diagnosis will be determined, if it ever is, many miles down the road.

You want a presenting problem? Here you go -- "I can't seem to make friends with people my own age or older, and need your help in figuring out how to do that."

[Lonely4Friends]

Ok, great! Now I just have to find some free counsel that is face-to-face in the greenville, sc area. Unfortunately, Google fails me here. Do you think if I asked a local church pastor, they would know where to go?

[Wondergirl]

Sure. Talk to a minister or priest or call/visit the reference desk at your local public library. The library I worked at near Chicago had a thick green binder that listed all the social services for the county including counselors who worked by sliding scale. The hospital admitting office will connect you with a social worker too probably.

You can't find anything by Googling? What about your county social services/human resources department?

[Lonely4Friends]

Thank you so much. Although I'm not sure how many of those will be free, and it will surely take days to sort through the directory, but it's well worth the time. Thank you! ^-^

[Wondergirl]

Why free?

Hey! After you "sort through," you'll have to start making phone calls and do telephone interviews to find someone you click with.