Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    sophieoconnor's Avatar
    sophieoconnor Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Jan 7, 2012, 06:23 PM
    Should me and my boyfriend be living together after two and a half years?
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and a half years, I want to move in together as I feel this is the next step in our relationship but he doesn't want to. I stay at his house 4-5 nites out of 7. I recently moved home as I felt paying for my own place for one maybe two nites a week was a waste of money and was hoping by doing this he would ask me to move in. Am I wasting my time waiting for him? He is 36 and I am 26 should I be wary that at 36 he is still not ready to commit?
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    Jan 7, 2012, 06:52 PM
    You think that you should be living together, but he doesn't think it is necessary... at least not at this time. Has there been any discussion as to how serious the two of you are and where things might lead? Has either moving in together at some point or marriage been discussed? If not, bring it up.

    If you are ready for something more and he isn't, then you may have to move on or continue to just enjoy the time that you do spend together.

    There is no right or wrong in the situation... just different opinions. Do find out what he has thought about for any future with you.

    Maybe a bit of time with you not over there so much will give him something to think about. After all, you were already practically living together. Set a time limit in your own mind and see what comes about after you have been back at your own place and the two of you have had a chance to discuss your future.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
    		  
    #3

    Jan 7, 2012, 07:32 PM
    I agree, he may not have a move in idea in the future but is happy in a relationship. Plus you are staying there 5 nights a week, so what happened if you just never went home, started making it 7 nights?

    Or does he want some alone time each week?

    Is there something else he is doing those two days ?
    sophieoconnor's Avatar
    sophieoconnor Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #4

    Jan 8, 2012, 09:11 AM
    He wants a night to himself during the week and we go home to our parents home for one night during the weekend, it just worrys me that him being 36 he should be at that stage where he wants to settle down and get married and have kids but he seems to be happy out in just a relationship.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
    		  
    #5

    Jan 8, 2012, 09:25 AM
    He very well may be happy with how things are. Have the two of you discussed possible marriage and children? I would bring it up since it is an important topic to you. Better to talk about and see what his thoughts on the matter are.

    If you find that he has no desire for those things, then you will be able to make a decision with how you want to proceed. If he wants those things, but maybe not right now, you could discuss a possible time frame. If it is to your satisfaction, then you continue as you are. If it isn't, then once again you will be in a position to make a decision of what you want to do next.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #6

    Jan 8, 2012, 06:43 PM
    It would seem after 2 and a half years a discussion of where things are going, and a timetable for what happens next would have been agreed on.

    Maybe its time for a serious talk about such things so neither of you wastes any more time being on cruise control.

    Never assume the feelings of another, when you can get facts straight from them.
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

5 and half years on a limb [ 1 Answers ]

I'm writing this in both the hope for an elightment, not being sure yet weather or not to publish it. I met my fiancˇ five and half years go, I had just finished studying and she was 5 years younger (she was 19, I was 24). I was still working at the University so I kind of had a student's life....

4 years probation and did half already. [ 0 Answers ]

On felony probation and caught a misdemeanor charge but got out on bond. What do you think I should do or what do you think is going to happen?

I am a green card holder and have been living in the US for 13 years - three years ag [ 21 Answers ]

I am a green card holder and have been living in the US for 13 years - three years ago I have purchased a house in Poland for which I borrowed money from my father in Poland (he is Polish citizen only, not US resident in any manner). I have sold this house last year and I have reported capital gain...

5 and a half years [ 26 Answers ]

So here is the story. I've been dating this girl for 5 and a half years now. We've broken up twice before, once when she first go to college (she dumped me) and another over a year ago (by me) that last for all of a month. So the past couple of months or so have been rough for her. She just...

Trying for a baby. 2 and half years [ 1 Answers ]

Hiya - My husband and I have been trying for a baby now two and a half years... at first things were okay - we were really laid back 'it will happen when it happens' but when I had my birthday last year, things got me down. I know I have years left, as this year I will be 26. Doctors have...

View more questions Search