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    Caina's Avatar
    Caina Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 6, 2012, 05:11 AM
    Problem with the man I love & he is black mailing me
    This person used to be my old school friend and he was in a steady relation with a girl (also my friend).
    I liked him (non-romantic) but after 2 years of passing out from from school, we three met by chance and exchanged numbers. He called me up and we talked (normal conversation). After some months, we started texting each other.
    Stuffs became sexual (he started it by sending intimate messages and phone sex) and I fell in love with him.
    He and me exchanged our nude pictures and his girlfriend saw the mail (his pictures, not mine). Things became bad and after lots of coercing I told her the truth (send her some of the messages he sent me) because he made her believe that I am forced him to do everything (he asked my permission before though and I said OK as long as it does not harm me in any way). But he said things like I black mailed him into committing suicide (things were going out of the way so I stopped it and said her the truth).
    She spread bad rumours about me to my friends (& called me a whore)and he vanished; I stopped trying to contact both of them.
    After one month he called me up and said he treats me as his wife, never a whore. He texted me and I eventually replied. He told me he broke off with her.
    We treated each other as husband & wife over phone (long distance relation)and he is the only guy I ever loved (& even liked).
    I recharged his numbers, gave him all my pocket money and more of my nude pics; he always says that we will get married after getting jobs (after 3 years).
    We met up and he was intimate with me (3 times); since I am a virgin, we didn't get enough time to had intercourse but his pre *** was around my vagina.
    Its only last night that I knew pre *** can make one pregnant and we did that last week.
    To make matters worse, he just treats me as a friend now (with sexual stuffs included) and he is hell bent on getting his ex- girl back. That girl called me up and abused me (called me a whore, ***** who can't keep her hands from other's boyfriends, abused my parents), I didn't say anything since he warned me to commit suicide and/or reveal my pictures to others if I tried to mutilate him again.
    I suspect he was only using me for this entire time to get her back; he must have said I am the one nagging him for intimacy, else how can she evn know we are together. Its true that I text him more than he texts back or even replies; he always tells me to call him (which I do); but I ask him at times whether I disturb him with my texts (4 or 5 per day) but he made me promise once so that I text him at least once daily (I did so from that day on).
    I am more of a studious (get 1st/2nd rank in every standard & college)girl with no experience in these matters but I look prettier than all my friends (whereas he looks bad but has a great voice); I don't know what to do, my parents are quite traditional and will kill me.
    I have a perfect pure image of myself in everyone's eyes; there were never anyone else in my life.
    I am worried about getting pregnant too since I don't know what medicine to take.
    Please please help me out; This is not my field, I don't know what I should do now.
    Please I don't want to die because of unworthy people like them... please help me out as fast as you can, have to make it quick!
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Jan 6, 2012, 05:36 AM
    First he said you were blackmailing him into suicide, now you say he is blackmailing you.
    'he warned me to commit suicide and/or reveal my pictures to others if I tried to mutilate him again' makes no sense, unless by mutilate you mean say lies about him (mutilate means to physically cut something to pieces in an awful way).
    I'm just not getting this picture.
    All I know is that people are saying terrible things about you, and all you can do is tell people the truth and hope they believe you. (Don't say anything about her, or that just makes you look bad. Just say 'I'm sorry she has to say mean and untruthful things about me' and leave it at that.)
    As for pregnancy the odds are low, but it doesn't mean you won't be part of that low statistic now or someday. Take tests (sold at drugstores) and wait.
    Caina's Avatar
    Caina Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jan 6, 2012, 12:42 PM
    He discussed that with me (the fact that he is going to put the larger portion of the blame on me) but what was not pre decided was the addition of mine threating him with suicide (which is wrong/lie); by 'mutilating' (exact word he said), he meant disclosing everything (true) about him; if I do that he will get my pictures out in public.
    Even moments before he called me up; what he was worried over is the fact that whether I am acting the way he told me (speak nothing about him to his ex-girl) & joked over my worries of getting pregnant. Then, soothed me with loving words of how much he needs me.
    Thanks for the answer (I really appreciate)& hopefully the picture is clear now.
    But still what should I do about the guy ? Get rid of him or play as his puppet for now (I still love him though).
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #4

    Jan 6, 2012, 05:42 PM
    He has treated you like basically a hooker or prostitute the entire time he is with you. You go along with phone sex and sending naked photos to him, knowing he had a girl friend.

    He tells all of your friends bad things about you, guess what your going back to him sort of says he was right,

    If you have any respect for yourself, stop any contact with him, don't worry or care what he does, just move on with your life.

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