[macg2021]

I've been with my girlfriend for going on 4 years now and love her very much. I honestly believed she was the girl I was going to marry and still do, but the relationship we have has changed considerably.

When the relationship started, we had our hot and heavy phase, but that was relatively short-lived, as I reflect back on it. I was her first for any sexual act, and she was my second, though I wish I had saved myself for her.

Moving forward a few months, the sexual foreplay began to get less and less, for me anyway. It got to the point where I was doing all of the "work" in every aspect. I found that kind of depressing but decided that I could live with it and stopped being all sad about it; she still wanted to have sex with me.

Moving forward a few more months, she began to get annoyed whenever I would make a sexual joke or innuendo, and she outright called me a pervert with malice in her voice. I didn't make the joke to try and "get anything"--that's just the person I am; I crack jokes and have done so my entire life. I remember she used to laugh at my jokes, but after that incident, I stopped completely and stay away from mentioning anything related to the subject.

I also used to be able give her a gentle smack on the butt when she would cook or walk by me, but I can't do that anymore either. She got very mad at me when I smacked her butt when we were putting our Christmas tree up and that resulted in her actually yelling at me.

What I'm trying to convey is that our relationship has completely changed from being able to joke around and enjoy each other to having none of that affection that I loved so much. At this point, I have stopped attempting to show any affection at all. Unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating, though I wish I was. She began to reject me whenever I would try to initiate anything, even just french kissing. I no longer kiss her good morning, kiss her good night, hold her hand, spoon her in bed, rub her back, kiss her randomly, hug her randomly, or pretty much anything that expresses that I love her, though I still do.

What upsets me the most, however, is that she hasn't made any attempt to change this. She seems content with not expressing any sort of affection toward me and I'm pretty sure she hasn't even noticed that I have stopped. It might sound like I miss having sex, and I do, but it's more the feelings that arise from having sex that I miss.

When we expressed that we loved each other, I felt close to her, I felt happy, and I felt like I was worth something. Now I feel like she doesn't love me, or at least doesn't find me attractive anymore. I don't feel close to her or even comfortable enough to be naked in front of her or even have my shirt off around her.

I understand relationships change but we're only in our 20's and I thought this was the time of our lives where we could be with each other instead of just being around each other. If anybody can offer advice or tell what's going on I would appreciate it immensely. I miss my girlfriend, and I miss not being depressed.

[politicalincrct]

My advice - confront her. Sounds like something is seriously bothering her. A woman's sexual side (yes, this includes kissing) is tied to her emotions. If you want the physical side you have to get the emotional side back. I cannot say that she does or does not love you - but it sounds like something is deeply disturbing her. She may even be having female problems that she does not choose to discuss with you at this time. Corner her with love and compassion - not anger or negativity and ask what is wrong. You may not like the answer, but then no answer hurts worse as it eats at your heart and relationship even more-so.

[talaniman]

You have been together for 4 years and cannot talk to each other to identify, and resolve your issues? That's THE PROBLEM!

Forget the bodies, the minds are not connected. This ain't about sex, its about the two of you. Its not about messages and toe sucking, its about issues in other areas of the relationship.

You better find out what they are quick!!

[mummyandmelody]

Awwww I wish my partner was that affectionate lol bless you well sometimes when the love is gone the love is gone and try all you like you may not be able to rekindle it but its worth a shot run her a hot bath with candles sented oils and bubbles or rose petals , sit her on the sofa and give her a glass of wine and tell her how beautiful she is and that you do love her more than anything and any one but you don't understand why she is being so cold you won't judge or get angry you just want to know you don't want to make her un happy just to love her from her toes right up to the hairs on her head and to spend the rest of your life making her happy its worth a shot if not maybe you want to consider that the maybe the faze has died out?! Xx