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slaibie · Jan 1, 2012, 05:58 PM

I have been with this guy for 5 years, he lives in Tennessee and I live in Florida. We agreed to visit each other every month, or two. Things were going perfect. I am truthful to him, and he tells me everything. I can call him at his work, talk to his boss, and everything. Since June of this last year (2011), he's not the same, he don't call like he used to, he don't text back like he used to, he just changed, and started telling me "you were too good to me I ****ed everything up".

Don't know why he told me that, but I thought he was cheating on me, still think he's cheating, his boss told me his dating somebody, when I ask him he told me she's just a friend it doesn't mean anything. I love him with all my heart, and soul, he told me to find somebody better than him. I don't know what to do to get him back, please help:(

zoe191 · Jan 2, 2012, 12:35 PM

Its clear he doesn't want to be with you any more , the truth is hard to except but what you should do is move on , its not going to be easy but hey nothing in life is , sorry hunni

slaibie · Jan 2, 2012, 01:26 PM

He told me we could stay friends I said OK,and when he call I always talk to him like we still together and one day I told him I can't just put behind 5years we had together,I can't take it from lover to best friend its so hard I told him to go his way and I go mine but he still call me anyway, why do I feel like he still loves me??

Fr_Chuck · Jan 2, 2012, 01:36 PM

So after 5 years what was or was there plans to move to another level. A long distance relationship can't ( or won't) normally go on forever.

At some point one party has to commit and move to where the other one was at. So where there ever any talks for that?

slaibie · Jan 2, 2012, 02:16 PM

Yes we were always plan to move together and I was willing to move up there,he was talking about buying house and have kids together

I don't know what to do I already did all the stupid things calling,texting,I cried when I talk to him,I begged him to come back but it didn't work, now I'm trying to ignore him when he call but its so hard, and can't stop thinking what he never call again... listen to his voice make my whole world OK

talaniman · Jan 2, 2012, 02:59 PM

You have a hard decision to make, continue to settle for the crumbs of contact, and be miserable, or take control of this situation, and stop all contact with him, and heal, so you can move on.

While he is exploring other options, you are stuck on him. That's not fair, or is it an equal love. And its miserable to be tortured that way.

slaibie · Jan 2, 2012, 04:01 PM

I have been a good girlfriend to this guy that I was dating for 5 years,I was honest,I love him,my money is his money,cherish him I was willing to do anything to be with him,even we were in a long distance relationship things were fine we see each other every month or two,all of the sudden he change he became a stranger to me,he don't call like he used to,and when I call he sent me to voicemail or told me "im buzy"when I called at his job his boss told me that his seeing somebody else that's why he always told you his bz,and he broke up with me but never admitted that he cheated.when I ask him why he decided to break up with me he told me I didn't trust him,he didn't have much time for me and so on.. why could he do that to me?I love him more than anything he was my whole world and still is..

I just don't get why people change so fast that guy loved me,his my first in everything love,sex and everything I feel so desperate,I even spoke to two psychics even I don't really believe in them they told me me and him mean to together it just that another jealous woman who likes him did something to warm us because he had an argument with her he called her fat and so on he told her that"my girlfriend is pretty and sexy"and so on I don't know I think what the psychics told me make it even worse, but I don't want to pay psychics to make my relationship work

talaniman · Jan 2, 2012, 05:57 PM

You must understand you will need a lot of time of NOT talking to him, or trying to be a friend, just to get over your shock.

I know it hurts, but you will get a better understanding later, for now I can only send you a cyber hug as you grieve from your loss. So sorry for you.

>BIG CYBER HUG<

slaibie · Jan 3, 2012, 06:10 PM

I don't know how to stop myself from going daily on my ex Facebook and his girlfriend (even I'm not sure if she is his real girlfriend)

JudyKayTee · Jan 3, 2012, 06:14 PM

Easy - keep your computer (or phone) turned off. Stay busy.

OR delete him from your list of friends.

slaibie · Jan 4, 2012, 04:56 PM

He wants to stay friends. I was OK with friends for while and I realise its not helping me cause I still talk to like he's still my man cause I still have feeling for him. I told him I can't just be friends it would be nice you go your way and I go my way. Later that day he called me, we talk about how he hurts me. I didn't expect that from him, and so, I decided not to answer his phone calls, but he still calling. When I finally picked up he was like"you already have a boyfriend? Did he tell you not to talk to me anymore? Well tell him I was first OK. I told him I didn't have one yet.

I really can't keep up with a friendship conversation with him without going back to what happened, and he never wants to talk about it, and I decided not to talk to him again. I spoke to him since December 31 couple days ago that's the first time we don't talk for that long he still calling me.

I don't know, should I answer or keep ignoring him? Or if I answer, I don't know what to say. Should I lie and tell him I'm seeing someone? Or just say hey what's up? Please help me cause he was my first love I'm dying to hear his voice too, please help!

talaniman · Jan 4, 2012, 05:59 PM

You keep ignoring him since you don't have the strength to cuss him out and tell him to leave you alone and let you heal. Its called NO CONTACT.

And please stop making new questions about the same thing. We know you are frazzled, hurt, and confused, but all those separate questions are not necessary

slaibie · Jan 4, 2012, 06:04 PM

Thanks talaniman and I didn't know it was going to add to my last question

talaniman · Jan 4, 2012, 06:13 PM

In any converstaion, the facts, all of them, have to be in the same place for understanding, and accurate suggestions, and advice.

slaibie · Jan 31, 2012, 03:28 PM

Its been two months since the break up.One day I feel great and the next day I feel like we just break up and every night I keep on looking at my phone hoping he will call or text.it hurts really bad,I can't describe how much I miss him.. I lost so much weight, my head hurts really bad everyday.. And my best friend stop talking to me for no reason,and all my other friends stop talking to me.my whole world falling apart,I don't have NOBODY.. I can not stop crying,I sometime think even God give up on me but I know very well he won't

talaniman · Jan 31, 2012, 04:41 PM

You must be one out of control negative guy if everybody can't stand you. That's sad, what about family?

Get yourself under control dude, and stop letting a female who ain't even there make you screw yourself up this way. Maybe see a doctor, sounds like withdrawal is tough.

mmresd · Jan 31, 2012, 05:39 PM

His decision has been made, respect it, keep yourself busy, and start to move on.

slaibie · Mar 9, 2012, 08:07 AM

Its been 3 months since the broke up I miss him very much,but I manage not to call not to text and started to feel better with myself,I started to be happy being single and all that but since the relation between me and his mom were good and still is I call her every other day,his mom always told him he was wrong treating me like he did and stuff but I told her I'm fine don't be bother and so on, he called me last night which I finally answer because his mom told me to because he always told her how much he misses me but he scared to call me cause I cursed him once,, he told me how lonely he is,how much his miss me everything he's doing remind him of me and so on,since he haven't tell me he wants me back,should I keep talking to him,being nice cause he has a lot going on now I don't know what to do.FYI I still love him with all my heart

JudyKayTee · Mar 9, 2012, 09:02 AM

Are you better off with him or without him? You've made enormous strides getting away from him. Do you want to start what could be heartache all over again?

What is your "pit of your stomach" feeling about this? Sometimes our instincts, that gut feeling, tell us how to proceed.

slaibie · Apr 22, 2012, 08:18 PM

Its been 5 months since my break up,well I guess I finally realize I lost him for real,it hurts but I always make sure I have a smile on my face everyday .I recently met a guy he is really nice,loving and caring I think we both are attracted to each other,we went on our first date last week it was perfect.For some reason I'm not so confident as I used to be.IM SCARED!! I feel like I'm not that pretty if I was why would my boyfriend left,I'm scared of not getting hurt,scared of falling in love again because break up for me is like hell.We going on our second date tomorrow,how can I manage not looking so afraid? What to do to have my confidence back, I actually like the guy he's woooaww, he sending little text messages,calling me,making me feel so special,, please help!!