[psychprog]

I was seeing this girl for about 2 months, and everything was going really well, she'd come to mine every weekend, we'd see each other once or twice during the week too. We didn't put a label on anything because she'd only just split up with her ex-boyfriend of 2 years, so I didn't want to pressure her into anything.

Her ex, was a very jealous, insecure guy. He made her delete all her boy mates off Facebook, she couldn't speak to any boys when she was out, the complete opposite of me!

She said that she'd just fallen out of love with her ex, but she still wanted to be friends with him because he was such a big part of her life, which is fine.

Before she was hanging out with me she was just mucking about with another guy, so that was apparently her rebound thing.

Everything was going great, and she was just about to move in with two of my friends, so now I could just hang out at their place all the time to.

The whole time we were seeing each other she'd always be the one making the effort to see me, calling, texting etc. We got on really really well, and I liked this girl from the moment I saw her. Everything was going well, and we'd just got back from a weekend away, in which she asked what was going on with us. I said that I like her, but I'm obviously wary she's just come out of a relationship.

She said to me that she wasn't going to date or get with anyone else because she really liked me.

When we got back, she asked if I could stay at hers, but I couldn't because I needed to charge my phone, which was fine, so I said bye and went home.

The next day she met me in town and she said she needed to talk. She told me she had met with her ex-boyfriend, which I was fine with, but then continued to say she was really confused and couldn't see me we had been seeing each other. Obviously I was really upset, not crying upset, but yeah, so I left. The next day I said maybe we shouldn't speak, and deleted her off Facebook and deleted her number, but really needed some answers still.

A few days later I went out in town and saw her there, we didn't speak, but when I eventually left, she text me to meet up with me when I was walking back to my car. We spoke and she was saying how upset she's been and how messed up her head is, that she is so upset she's lost me, but its unfair on me if she's unsure how she feels about her ex.

I was obviously aloof at first, but I gave her a lift home, and stayed with her for a while. It felt like nothing had happened, we were in bed, hugging, and she was saying how she missed me and how she hates this situation so much. We kissed, but I started thinking about how stupid it was of me going back to hers when she's doing the same with her ex, so I left.

I sent her a message the next day saying not to speak to me and that I'm not coming second best to some insecure little boy.

We didn't speak for a few days, I sent her a message on Christmas Day saying I was sorry for leaving and sending that but things were just a bit crazy, but how I should just move on. She said yeah it's fine and how she hates this situation so much etc.

A few days later we all went to the cinema with some mutual friends, but before this I was speaking to a friend she also works with saying how I don't want to give up on the situation with this girl. So we basically came to the conclusion that I should send flowers to her work, with a note saying how I know she's confused, but I'm not going to give up on her that easily, and asking her out for dinner the next Friday. This obviously could go one of two ways, which was the idea, to get some clarity.

So we went to the cinema, it was obviously a bit awkward, but at the end of the film this girl and I were chatting outside and she asked if I was going back to hers, which I said yes to, and she couldn't help but smile. We all went back to her house, everyone left, and she asked if I wanted to watch a film and stay, which I did.

I told her how I do really like her, and how I'm not just going to give up on her because I think she's worth it. She was saying how confused she was, and she wishes she knew what to do, so I said, don't do the easy thing and get back with your ex, take a risk. To this, she said yeah I know, but I can't imagine not seeing my ex at all. I said to her that I know you have to realise this in your own mind, but he's not going to change.

I said to her how I really thought we'd get together, and she said so did she. So I stayed the night, we didn't have sex though, but I felt like I was really getting somewhere now after speaking to her. She asked me to go to work with her the next day, but I said I can't, knowing the flowers were coming.

I got a text from her that next day, saying thanks for the flowers, but she's so messed up in the head that she can't put that on anyone at the moment. She's said all she can offer me at the moment is friendship, and that she's so upset she's going to lose me and how she doesn't deserve me as a friend. I text her back saying, that obviously that sucks, but there's nothing more I can do, at least I know now and have some clarity. She eventually text me back saying how she knows I will find someone else soon, and that girl will be so lucky, and that she just wants me to be happy. I didn't text back to this, just left it.

The worst thing about this all is how we were having such a good time before hand, we got on so well, she really liked me, I really really liked her, I thought we'd fully get together very soon, and then out of the blue this happens. I'm finding it very hard because she's now hanging out with a lot of my friend group, because she lives with them now, last night was new years, and all I was thinking about was that I was meant to be with her. What to do in this situation? Duck out of that friend group for a while and move on? Severe all contact with her? It sucks, this was the first girl I'd actually liked in a good few years and I really don't want to give up on her!

[Kahani Punjab]

Psychprog,

Firsly let me welcome you to this great site. Happy NEW year!

You have essenced the long and short of the whole lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng story within the title. It is possible, and it is irritating and it is confusing, but the confusion of HER has a silver lining for you.

[JudyKayTee]

This is almost too long to read! It's more blog than question.

She has told you clearly (in my opinion) how she feels as well as why she feels that way. She's not stringing you along.

It's time to move on.

[amicon]

She's told you friendship is all she has to offer;accept that and let it go.

[JudyKayTee]

Psychprog,

Firsly let me welcome you to this great site. Happy NEW year!

You have essenced the long and short of the whole lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng story within the title. It is possible, and it is irritating and it is confusing, but the confusion of HER has a silver lining for you.

And what is that? I am reading that she told him loud and clear what her feelings are. I see no advantage to him "holding on," waiting for her to love him.

What am I not reading that you are?