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aburton28 · Dec 29, 2011, 08:40 PM

I have two sons who both carry my maiden name. I am getting married in a few months and my fiancé is wanting to adopt the boys as his own. Neither of the fathers have ever been in their lives no contact, no money nothing. They have never even meet the boys. So we shouldn't have a problem from them in the adoption process. But as of right now were just wanting to change their last names legally before we go through with the adoption. So does anyone know how to go about changing a last name or know of a site I can get information on it?

RickJ · Dec 30, 2011, 08:30 AM

Seek a local attorney who will walk you through the process for a reasonable fee. Otherwise, you can do it yourself but you'll need to spend hours and hours researching the local laws and procedures for doing it.

JudyKayTee · Dec 30, 2011, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by aburton28

I have two sons who both carry my maiden name. I am getting married in a few months and my fiance is wanting to adopt the boys as his own. Neither of the fathers have ever been in their lives no contact, no money nothing. They have never even meet the boys. So we shouldn't have a problem from them in the adoption process. But as of right now were just wanting to change their last names legally before we go through with the adoption. So does anyone know how to go about changing a last name or know of a site I can get information on it?

I don't know where you live BUT the fathers need to sign their consent before the children can be adopted in every State (and Country) familiar to me.

Where are you?

The process to change the names also involves the consent of the fathers - also depending on your State/Country.

The fact that the fathers have never met the children, have no contact, don't pay support is, unfortunately, immaterial. Are the fathers on the birth certificates? As part of the adoption process you fill out an Affidavit - in my State, at least - that the father is X and paternity was or wasn't acknowledged. You cannot claim you don't know the ID of the father if his name is on the birth certificate.

There could also be a problem with the change in last names prior to your marriage - the Court is going to be hesitant about changing the name to that of a boyfriend or fiancé before the marriage takes place. If the marriage does not take place, if the adoption does not take place, then the last name is an issue - again.

RickJ · Dec 30, 2011, 09:37 AM

FYI, I was adopted and my last name changed. My birth father was sent a notice asking for consent, but he did not reply - so the court granted the adoption and last name change.

This sort of thing may or may not apply in all states.

JudyKayTee · Dec 30, 2011, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by RickJ

FYI, I was adopted and my last name changed. My birth father was sent a notice asking for consent, but he did not reply - so the court granted the adoption and last name change.

This sort of thing may or may not apply in all states.

Right - that is a scenario BUT the father has to be contacted and the Court has to agree that an attempt was made, delivery was accomplished and the father chose to deny the request.

I never think to cover this aspect, but, yes, good catch. And, yes, it does happen.

In NY the birth parent has to be given every opportunity to respond and currently this involves personal service if the birth parent does not respond, even if birth parent is in another State. It's a safeguard, just making sure that the adoption is 100% legal and cannot be reversed.

ScottGem · Dec 30, 2011, 10:19 AM

Originally Posted by aburton28

But as of right now were just wanting to change their last names legally before we go through with the adoption.

First, ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

Second, don't bother. It makes no sense (and will cost you more) to do this separately. Wait until you can file for adoption and do it all at once.

However, your children can use any names they want to use as long as there is no attempt to defraud. Where a legal name is required they will have to use their legal names, but they can use your new husband's name in most cases. Most schools, for example, will allow them to use their new step father's name in most instances.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 30, 2011, 10:22 AM

Correct in GA for example, it is done in probate court. The court gives you the forms to fill out, you have the birth father to sign and it goes very easy, if the father will not sign, he has to be served legal notice of a hearing, if he does not show up, then normally you will be allowed, If he shows up and fights it, then normally they don't allow.

Honestly if they will sign for the adoption, it is just about as easy, to try and change names first is just a large added expense that is not needed.