[karapantos]

My boyfriend is late a lot. I get really frustrated with him when he's late a doesn't call or text me to let me know. Last night, we were supposed to go to dinner around 8pm. At 8:40 I called him to see what's up and he answers and tells me the auction that he told me ended at 8 is still going. He finally calls me at 9:30. By this time I'm starving and frustrated. We've had this argument before. All I want is a text to tell me he's going to be late. Is this too much to ask?

[JoeCanada76]

No, it is not too much to ask. Have you told him this without fighting with him. Have you tried a different approach in how you say things too him?

Well I do not know your whole situation but is there any other problems or situations in this relationship you are not liking.

It is up to you what you feel is best for you. Good luck with everything.

Joe

[shygrneyzs]

If he is late, I would not be the one waiting past a reasonable length of time. Say 15 minutes. Then I would go my merry way, enjoy myself, and stop being a victim to his tardiness. When you wait like that, you are giving far too much of your own power to someone who is not respecting you. To wait from 8:00 pm to 9:30 is inexcusable.

I would not argue, not fight, not threaten. I would wait my responsible time and then go and do what I want to do. When he makes you wait like that, he is telling you that you are not important enough to him to stop what he is doing.

Read this thread on how we become a victim:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ghlight=victim

Victim is more than physical. It can be emotional.

[sexybeasty]

Shy mentioned giving up power to him. That is exactly right. My ex husband was a crazy man. He was controlling to the inth degree. Being very late coming home was one of his ploys to drive me mad. It did too, until I no longer cared. Unfortunately, there were other things going on. He was a cheat, too.

I am not saying your guy is cheating. What I am saying is your guy apparently thinks his plans and scheduling is more important than what you want or want planned. This is a terrible way for anyone to be treated. Since this bothers you to no end, you are the one who needs to put a stop to it.

Shy gave perfect advice. Take your control back. He has not been showing you the respect you deserve. Good luck, honey.