[nagaprabhu]

My girl friend engaged with someone because of situation how to get her back

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't, if she really loved you, she would not marry someone else. She has the choice you can no force her to do anything.

[nagaprabhu]

She is engaged one week before but she didn't know about this engagement her mother done this because we are from different caste but she didn't like this but her mother is saying that if you want to marry him I will die like this she threatening her .and one more is she is not my girlfriend she is my another mom .I have been brought up by father from my age of 6 what are the things I missed from my mom I got from my dear she is my happy she also know that wt can I do .I never enjoyed any happiness in my life I think after she came in my life I going to taste that happiness now like this happen at any cost I don't want to miss her she also like me a lot please help me even when I typing this I am crying its killing me please help me to get my mom back please

[TrueFaith]

Sorry for what your going through

How old are you guys?
Sounds to my like you guys are from another culture.
Its hard to give advice on someone's culture and belief without seeming judgemental
And today with the insane amount of Political correctness
Where you can't even call someone by there normal ethic decent

Shocking!

Anyway I digress!

I am not sure there is much you can do. But try and get over it and not let it hurt you so much
Sadly storey's like this have been going on for centuries.
It is not the end of the world
You will find your happens trust me
You first Must be happy within yourself

DO not rely on others to make you happy because you will always be emotionally dependent on others
And that is never a good option

I would take this time to make yourself stronger as a person mentally.

[nagaprabhu]

Now what should I do ?

[TrueFaith]

How old are you guys? If you are both underage forget about it..

If you are over 20 then you guys can do something about it

I'm not saying run away together but make a stand for each other

But if your girlfriend lives in that kind of emotional black mailing place that her mother brings
Then I think you are out of luck sadly

If you don't marry her ill die.
Sadly with most ignorant parents the most optimal way of controlling a young child is fear!

She needs to be strong as well to break free
Its not just you in this there are many factors


Again tell me your age what culture you are from.

[nagaprabhu]

I am 26 and she 24. We both are from same religion that is hind religion. But different caste from same grade

[TrueFaith]

You are both still young
And Hindi caste system is a very big part of your culture.

And very important one.

There is not much you can do. I'm afraid

Unless you both Run away together leave the religion behind
But will she be willing to do that?
I don't think so.

Its very easy to give advice to people that are within a relationship

But if you through religion into the mix
And 1000 of years of belief and tradition
It makes life very very hard

Nothing we can say or do will change peoples strong held beliefs
And I doubt if you two sit down with the parents and go this is how we feel etc
They will listen to anything you have to say.

You have to just accept this I'm sorry to say.

The thing you need to work on now is yourself try and become more happy and strong person within yourself.
Just some things in life we can't change we must learn to live with them.

[talaniman]

I don't think it does any good to cry over what she does about this situation. Instead, it is her decision let her make it, and stand on your own for yourself.

Right, or wrong, it is not you who have control over this situation, and all you can do is state your case to her parents and abide by the decision. Do not panic that she has been engaged to another by her parents. Make your case to them.

Is it possible for a trusted and respected person of your caste can speak on your behalf, or family members?

Ultimately, she is the one who must decide how she deals with her parents, and if indeed she goes along with them, then this is something you must ACCEPT, no matter how hard it may be.

Pray that it works for you, but plan that it will not, and be ready to thrive and survive with someone else.

Crying is but a temporary fix to your situation, and as an adult, you have to make choices for yourself that doe NOT depend on what others choose to do, so to be dependent on one person, who may be unavailable to you, to be happy is quite unacceptable.

Instead focus on building a life for yourself that does make you happy, and share it with one that deserves it. If the object of your affections is not willing to stand and fight WITH you, then they do not deserve you, and YOU deserve better.

Do NOT short change yourself.