[barbara2009]

My ex and I broke up 1 1/2 years ago. But I can't move on. He messages and/or calls every day. I know I know.. Don't respond. The more I don't respond, the more he contacts me. He wants to hang out, he wants to talk, call, message, etc, but we never do anything physical it's fun and I enjoy being with him but I don't want to be friends with him! He messages me first thing in the morning and I am guilty of saying goodnight every night. I've talked to him about where he's at and he said he does not want to date, he said we fought when we were together and we don't fight now, so this works better. To make things worse, I recently got a job in the same town he works in, and since I am a coach we coach together. He is the head coach and I am his assistant. We do a good job of hiding anything from the girls but it's SOOO hard. How do I move on when we are constantly talking, we see each other every day because of work, and he calls/messages everyday but makes a point to say it's just to talk about basketball. I can't tell him to STOP messaging me when it is about basketball, because he's the head coach! How do I do this... I haven't met anyone new, we are in a small town, I'm getting frustrated. Thoughts?

[talaniman]

Follow your first mind and set some boundaries. No more calls outside of business, and school. Part of the problem is you go along with what works for him, and not you.

And it really sounds like you need your own social life that makes you happy, without him in it.

You will never move on if you keep going along with his program, and NOT your own.

[barbara2009]

I have told him not to call for personal reasons and told him I don't want to be friends. That is why whenever he contacts me he makes sure to say... it's just to talk basketball. I agree about the social life. I'm pretty social but moving to a new town is hard to meet people. I am trying in that department, and am finding more people but right now... it's slow going. Most of the "new" people I meet are friends with him already, even if he's not the one that introduces us because the town is small and tightly connected.

I know I need to do my own thing, I feel like I am trying but at the same time am so closely involved in coaching/work outside friends that it's hard. But good advice. I'll make more of an effort socially to get connected to something other than him.

[vanheart]

NC, yo.

That will solve all of your problems. Block him.

Sounds like you kind of dig it. Like hearing. You are the one that keeps looking and answering.

Just never respond. Keep never responding. Press delete.

He will get the message. Silence is a virtue.
Being invisible rocks sometimes.

Puts you in control.