[mannyE11]

I've known this girl since 10th grade in high school. I never talked to her much because I was shy and she was always talking to different people and I didn't want to look like a fool. But since the first day I saw her in that class, I always had a feeling for her. It was her first year in America. She comes from Lebanon.

After graduation I thought I would never see her again and that I had lost the chance to get to know her. Summer comes and goes and I had dreams about her over the summer which made it difficult for me.

College started and the first 2 days were normal. But on the 3rd day I was walking to class late, and I saw her pass me. I immediately turned around and she did as well. And we talked for a couple of minutes and I got her phone number. I was so happy! I called her a week later to see if she wanted to hang out, which she was to busy to do, but we texted for weeks back and forth from after school until 2 in the morning.

One late night she asked if she could ride with me to school in the mornings which I of course was more than happy to give. I even gave her rides home. I learned that she was muslim, which I don't mind. To me, religion shouldn't matter in a relationship. But my parents disagreed. They didn't like her only for her belief. On her birthday I bought her roses and a teddy bear, which made me later than usual to pick her up. That same day my mother was driving behind us, pulled next to us, and saw her. That same day my car was taken away and I was never allowed to see her again.

I still see her in school now and again. She has her own car now and its her that gives me rides now when she can. Over the time away from her I've been trying to keep together through text, but it feels as if we are fading away. The times in my car were full of laughs and conversation and planning on spending time to get to know each other. I've recently told her how I feel for her and that I want to be with her. Her words were "we need to plan something and get together" I told her to tell me when she had a day off from her work so we could plan around that.

2 weeks later, and she barely text me anymore, she never tells me when she has a day off, I'll text her and instead of an immediate text like before, I'll get an answer maybe 15mins to an hour later. I'll ask her if she wants to spend time and she's either always working or has plans with family. I realize that I am in love with her and I want her in my life.

My best friends keep telling me to move on, but I keep getting rays of hope from her. I've lost my car, my respect from my parents, and my freedom for her, I've sacrificed my time for her, I've told her how I felt, and yet this is all I get. I love her and I don't want to let her go from my life. She's the only girl I see and want. Do I continue to try? do I tell her I how I feel again but with more detail? do I give up? Please tell me, WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?
Sincerely,
Man in love
P.S(sorry for the long story)

[talaniman]

I do not know what your religious is but you knowing more about hers will give you insights into things you need to know. And her parents are probably even stricter than yours, and even more prejudiced.

You have many obstacles against you and you need a lot more patience. Just because you confessed means things will change and get better as she must obey her parents as you do.

If texting is your only way to communicate, things cannot really be resolved because maybe her texts are monitored but if you can, resolve this and shape the directions this is going either over the phone, or better face to face.

And she is in your life, maybe not enough for you, but as much as you both can help, so don't get mad at the price you have paid already. That's immature, because you can always just stop trying to pursue more, or walk away.

Sorry guy, but neither of you controls anything, and I know for a fact you better go slow.

I have read your other posts and maybe take your own advice. Keep in mind the differences of your religions, and traditions.

[LuckyChucky13]

Hey Manny,


You sound like a decent guy. And I tip my hat off to you (respect you) for not allowing religion to be a factor. I wish the rest of humanity could learn from someone like you (I guess you're still in your late teens), because you sound more mature than most, at your age.

I used to like a girl in grade 10 and 11 as well and she never gave me time of day :). But you know what?. she barely ever crosses my mind and have fallen in love (not with her) since we parted ways. This girl is not as into you as you are into her. She enjoyed your company (what girl wouldn't want a good guy in her life?) and felt secure being around you. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, I believe it was only you that had the feelings you've described. I've always believed that actions speak louder than words, and from her actions, she's not putting as much effort or thought into this friendship as you are. Give it time and see if she starts to get closer again. If she does, great, deal with it then, and if she doesn't, then by that time you would have moved on and met more girls who will reciprocate your feelings.

You've told this girl how you feel and yet she never tells you when she had a day off and make an effort to spend time with you. She feels bad telling you that she doesn't feel the same way, so she's hoping that by being distant, you will get the picture and move on. Sorry this is the case buddy.

Remember this: Whatever feels bad at the time is never as bad as it seems. You will move on and wounds will heal. The best thing is to learn from every situation you're in and apply these lessons in your future relationships.


p.s. girls usually like it when a guy initiates plans. So instead of asking her to let you know when she's free next time (whether this girl or any girl in the future), tell her you'd like to take her out and plan something fun for the day (or evening). It will show that you are confident and can make decisions on your own.

Good luck buddy.