[metallica1990]

Here's the deal. I know this girl, not for so much, like a month and a half or so, and we've been hanging around a lot. The thing is that she still loves her ex, with whom she had been in a relationship for about 2 years and a half. They broke up a day after we knew each-other, so I understand perfectly how she feels, after all it's only been about a month. This is a really rough time for her, as she's losing hope, staying inside, alone etc. We have talked a lot about this situation of hers, I have given her advice and have tried to help her the best I can. I feel something for her, not love surely but I really like her. I have thought about telling her my feelings as soon as I can, but I don't know if it's the right time or should I wait a little more. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thank you. :)

[talaniman]

Just me, I would never force romance so soon after a heart has been broken. She needs a friend, not a relationship. So be very cautious of getting to involved with someone while they hurt.

I am sure you want to help, but be aware the problem with that is when they become strong enough, they will want to be on there own and ready to explore their options and opportunities, and gratitude for your help will seldom lead to a lasting relationship.

This is a really bad time to push your own romantic agenda, because hurt people are not always truthful about their feelings and seldom know what the want, yet will do anything, say anything, to get what they need. Which after a break up, is love and support, and DISTRACTION from their emotional pain.

You should be very careful, and pay very close attention, because its you who gets to hold the bag as she deals with her own hurt.

[metallica1990]

Thanks for your feedback talaniman. I really don't want to rush nor force anything. Maybe I'm turning a bit paranoid but I am sometimes afraid that another one will come, and she might make the wrong decision (I'm not saying I'm the right one, but I care for her, and don't want her to get hurt again). I have been very close to her, supporting her for everything she has needed. She doesn't really have any close friends in here, as she lives in Campus.

I just want to tell her my true feelings, to tell her that I'm there for her, it's not only for my own romantic agenda.

I can handle myself in these kinds of situations, I have had worse than this. I just want to know the right time. I'm not expecting her to make a decision straight away if I tell her now. I can wait, I can give her time and space.

[talaniman]

Then give both of you the next 6 months, and see how things go. By then you both may be in better positions of knowing each other better, because a month and a half is not a long time to know a lot except how you feel.

What's the hurry?